Our worst display of the 37 games rated so far, with the team averaging a measly 3.72. A disinterested and lifeless Newcastle side apparently turned up at St Mary's to face what were once our nearest rivals in the table, but only stand-in keeper Elliot decided to put in a performance and came out with any credit, somehow keeping the scoreline somewhere reasonable for a football match while Pardew's record losing streak was in its infancy. This earned Elliot man of the match with a 6.14 rating dwarfing that of all his teammates, while at the other end of the scale an out of position Yanga-Mbiwa earned mug of the match with a 2.44 rating.
After having come under harsh criticism from an ever-growing section of the support throughout the season, this match proved to be the turning point, at least on the TFI. The 1.75 rating was his lowest to this point, and started a streak of sub-2.00 ratings accompanied by a unanimous message of "Pardew out".
[tfi]140329[/tfi]
(You can click on player names to go to their pages)
We only had four people leave comments for all players this game, so I'll include them all. Under each player the first comment is by LaFraise92, then Speedo, Cal and Heisen.Elliot - 6.14 (MOTM) Ratings ranged between 5 and 7.5
"Credit where it's due, the lad hasn't played since January and he was easily our best player on the pitch. Made some great saves, would have been a lot worse a defeat if he hadn't been on form."
"Our best player by a margin."
"Excellent performance in the first half with save after save, little he could do for the goals."
"Kept the score respectable, could easily have been 8-0."
Yanga-Mbiwa - 2.44 Ratings ranged between 2 and 3.5
"Bloody horrendous. Two terrible "crosses", caught out at the back, caught out in midfield, thoroughly Pardewed."
"Not a full-back, at fault for their goal."
"Terrible. No sense of how to position himself or the need to track his man, offered nothing going forward."
"Not a RB, but didn't look like much of anything else either."
Williamson - 3.31 Ratings ranged between 2 and 4
"He played as what he is; a Championship defender. Not fast enough, not skilled enough."
"Piss. Step over earned him a point. Back to his old shaky self, punting the ball to Mr. Nowhere of Nowhereland."
"Occasionally decent, generally terrible. No cohesion in the back line."
"Looked conference standard. Appalling."
Coloccini - 3.63 Ratings ranged between 2 and 4.5
"Looks like he doesn't give a f*** in truth, and I'm not sure I blame him. Was better than Williamson though and the tackles and clearances he did make were generally decent. Caught out a lot on pace."
"Worst game of the year. Defensively suspect, like watching him in 08/09."
"Occasionally decent, generally terrible. No cohesion in the back line."
"Shocking level of effort for a captain."
Haïdara - 4.60 Ratings ranged between 3 and 6
"Along with Elliot, the only player I think deserved to wear a yellow shirt today. He was an infinite improvement on Dummett and Santon, even if he wasn't world-class. Made our only threatening runs up the wing. "
"Not great, but at least occasionally looked dangerous going forward. Leaps ahead of Dummett though I think."
"Although not stellar at the back, he was pretty much out only source of energy or attacking intent for most of the game. Some good runs and got the ball into the box."
"Tried to get forward and handled Chambers better than any of our other left backs would have."
Ben Arfa - 3.69 Ratings ranged between 2 and 5
"Just wasn't there. We evidently have to sit through 10 mediocre, anonymous, selfish performances before we get an assist. Thoroughly Pardewed."
"Didn't get a chance really, see Pardew/Carver below."
"Castrated by defensive responsibilities (which he kind of did okay?) and struggled to do anything when allowed to attack."
"Insipid. Adds practically nothing."
Anita - 4.38 Ratings ranged between 3 and 6
"Anonymous. Added 0.5 for his lovely control half way through. "
"Weak. Not good enough attacking to make up for his questionable defensive ability."
"The creatively outlet we had all game."
"Woeful. Completely out-classed and looked like he couldn't run. Appalling lack of effort."
Tioté - 4.00 Ratings ranged between 3 and 5
"Anonymous in a position which we can't afford to have anonymous players in. Ball control severely lacking."
"Poor, several mistakes. 1 decent run."
"Not himself today. Barely made a tackle, numerous times misplaced passes dangerously."
"The one thing I thought you could count on Tiote for was trying hard, but even he looks like he couldn't give a s***."
Gouffran - 2.81 Ratings ranged between 2 and 4
"Almost anonymous save for a decent run into the box. Needs dropped until he gets his act together."
"Looks like he's just done an ironman triathlon."
"What happened to the guy who covered every blade of grass on the pitch, scoring goals at one end and pretty much doing all the full-backs duties at the other?"
"Gutless, sloppy, slow. Horrific effort."
Sissoko - 3.72 Ratings ranged between 2 and 6
"Not a total disgrace, but near enough. Can't pass, can run, can't do much else. Thoroughly Pardewed."
"Looked the best of a bad bunch in midfield. Which is a bit like saying 'my favourite STD' (crabs, if you're wondering)."
"Some good runs, but they flatter to deceived when he has no idea how to use a ball at the end of them."
"He manages to look s*** wherever you play him, all of his best attributes have been thoroughly coached out of him."
Cissé - 3.67 Ratings ranged between 1.5 and 6
"Got no service whatsoever. Can't judge him for not playing as an attacker when we weren't attacking at any point."
"Little to no service, don't entirely blame him."
"Impossible to fairly rate a striker when they're so isolated."
"Starved of service, nothing he could do."
Santon - 3.44 Ratings ranged between 1.5 and 5
"Not as good as Haidara. The new Stephen Carr. Thoroughly Pardewed."
"At fault for 1 goal, you can tell he's been out for a while. Assured on the ball at least."
"Almost as bad as Yanga-Mbiwa, but got a bit of the ball."
"Nice to know he's still rubbish."
De Jong - 2.94 Ratings ranged between 1.5 and 4.5
"Just looks like a total donkey. Didn't get near the ball. Some f***ing holdup striker he is."
"Pointless."
"He tried. Got no service through the middle save for our first shot of the game, ended up going out wide in search of the ball and failing to do anything from there."
"Would rather have Shola playing. Useless."
Dummett - 3.31 Ratings ranged between 2 and 5
"Not at PL level (yet)."
"Not good enough."
"N/A"
"Managed to look s*** despite hardly being on the pitch."
Pardew / Carver - 1.75 Ratings ranged between 1 and 3
"F*** me, I didn't think we could outdo ourselves after Fulham, but here we are. Insipid, uninspired, football - even Big Sham has a "defensive" strategy which we don't even have. Pardew seems to just let them run around for 90 minutes on a bit of grass. Nowt against Carver though."
"The team selection was spot on, and we were all ready for some attacking, attractive football. Instead, from the first minute we're tw*tting the ball up the pitch, entirely bypassing Ben Arfa, who I don't think touched the ball outside of his own half, failing to play to the strengths of our team. Pardew seems to think that if the opponent is big and strong, we should play our big and strong players and try to match them man for man, which is stupid. The more big, strong defenders they have, the more pacey forwards we should have. Ludicrous decision bringing off Ben Arfa who, though quiet, was our only hope except for Sissoko of creating something. Absolutely appalling throughout, with the exception of the initial team selection which earns 2 points for me. Shocking tactically."
"The line-up seemed to be the best that could be named, depending on how match fit Santon is, but there was no motivation or evidence of any game plan. Good to see attacking subs made at half-time, but they didn't seem to be the right ones. I suspect that there are deep problems among the squad/staff, and not just general inability to perform. I think it might be best if this impending summer overhaul includes many of the coaching and management staff as well."
"Insipid, lifeless, gutless management. Gets 1 mark for decent team selection other than that it would be a 0, he couldn't motivate a tramp to take a tenner. Substitutions made no sense, having 3 LB's on when your 0-3 down is the sign of a manager who has no idea what he's doing. Indebted to Elliot for ensuring the score didn't go above double figures. He's coached all of our players' best attributes out of them and has no idea how to change a game that is slipping out of his grasp. He should be sacked."
