Should I eat ice cream?

Hjl · Post by **Hjl** » Wed Jan 25, 2017 1:06 am

So I'm lactose intolerant and am supposed to be on a diet. I'm having a great deal of trouble summoning the self control to not eat ice cream at 8pm. I know if I do that I'll end up shitting myself to death in about an hour...

So eat ice cream? yes or no?

Post by **skalpel** » Wed Jan 25, 2017 6:25 am

Gonna presume you gave in and ate it.

bodacious benny · Post by **bodacious benny** » Wed Jan 25, 2017 7:35 am

I don't like ice cream, so no!

Chappy · Post by **Chappy** » Wed Jan 25, 2017 7:47 am

If you s**** it out immediately after, was it even in your system long enough to count as calories?

Eat it, you fat cronut

Aldridge Prior · Post by **Aldridge Prior** » Wed Jan 25, 2017 10:35 am

Bodacious Benny wrote:I don't like ice cream, so no!

Oh, I thought for a minute there you said you don't like ice cream.

Donkey Toon · Post by **Donkey Toon** » Wed Jan 25, 2017 10:56 am

Yeah go for it.

If as you say you will s*** like the world is falling out of your ass soon after then the diet won't suffer. May even help you lose weight.

overseasTOON · Post by **overseasTOON** » Wed Jan 25, 2017 11:06 am

Use the Micky Quim diet plan: Eat it whilst on an excerise bike and then just s*** on the seat.

Hjl · Post by **Hjl** » Wed Jan 25, 2017 12:13 pm

Ok ate it. It went exactly as expected. Delicious followed by disastersous digestive maltransit.

How ever, I did lose about a lb with what I can only describe as a colon cleanse.

Hjl · Post by **Hjl** » Wed Jan 25, 2017 12:24 pm

Bodacious Benny wrote:I don't like ice cream, so no!

How does the worlds most optimistic man not like ice cream?!

overseasTOON · Post by **overseasTOON** » Wed Jan 25, 2017 12:50 pm

Hjl wrote:
Bodacious Benny wrote:I don't like ice cream, so no!
How does the worlds most optimistic man not like ice cream?!

Maybe he had a negative experience of it.

I know I can't eat Nutella ever again after I caught my old housemate sticking his cock in the communal house jar so his girlfriend could lick it off.

Hjl · Post by **Hjl** » Wed Jan 25, 2017 1:15 pm

overseasTOON wrote:
Hjl wrote:
How does the worlds most optimistic man not like ice cream?!
Maybe he had a negative experience of it.

I know I can't eat Nutella ever again after I caught my old housemate sticking his cock in the communal house jar so his girlfriend could lick it off.

I have a comparable experience with pink Floyd and a Icelandic man....

Chappy · Post by **Chappy** » Wed Jan 25, 2017 1:22 pm

overseasTOON wrote:
Hjl wrote:
How does the worlds most optimistic man not like ice cream?!
Maybe he had a negative experience of it.

I know I can't eat Nutella ever again after I caught my old housemate sticking his cock in the communal house jar so his girlfriend could lick it off.

Hahahaha

asbo · Post by **asbo** » Wed Jan 25, 2017 5:09 pm

overseasTOON wrote:
Hjl wrote:
How does the worlds most optimistic man not like ice cream?!
Maybe he had a negative experience of it.

I know I can't eat Nutella ever again after I caught my old housemate sticking his cock in the communal house jar so his girlfriend could lick it off.

!

Colback's Orange Tufts · Post by **Colback's Orange Tufts** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:04 am

You could also just eat sorbet...

Hjl · Post by **Hjl** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 12:17 pm

Colback's Orange Tufts wrote:You could also just eat sorbet...

NH

I could do, it delicious, but then I might as well start eating soy steak and low fat cigarettes.

Post by **skalpel** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 1:40 pm

You eat cigarettes?

overseasTOON · Post by **overseasTOON** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 2:19 pm

skalpel wrote:You eat cigarettes?

I ate a cigarette once for a drunken bet and then threw up in a plant pot in the middle of the pub.

The things you do when you're drunk and 30 years old

Donkey Toon · Post by **Donkey Toon** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 2:49 pm

overseasTOON wrote:
skalpel wrote:You eat cigarettes?
I ate a cigarette once for a drunken bet and then threw up in a plant pot in the middle of the pub.

The things you do when you're drunk and 30 years old

Been there as well.

Personally I thought the cigarette tasted marginally better than the tea bag I ate shortly after.

Post by **skalpel** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 3:31 pm

Donkey Toon wrote:Personally I thought the cigarette tasted marginally better than the tea bag I ate shortly after.

<laugh>What the hell.

Donkey Toon · Post by **Donkey Toon** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 4:13 pm

skalpel wrote:
Donkey Toon wrote:Personally I thought the cigarette tasted marginally better than the tea bag I ate shortly after.
<laugh>What the hell.

Yeah I was with a bunch of mates, all drunk and playing "chase the ace", where the first out got to nominate an eating forfeit for the loser. The cigarette was bad enough, but the very next hand I lost again and the nominator paid me back for making him eat an entire pack of lard by selecting a tea bag as my next culinary delight.

f***ing hideous. Do not try this at home!

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