The funny corner

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Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Wed Dec 05, 2018 11:17 pm

Bloke driving along picks up a hitch-hiker.

After a few minutes the hitch-hiker says 'aren't you nervous about picking a hitch-hiker up, I could be a serial killer'?

The bloke says 'nah, the odds of there being two serial killers in this car are astronomical'.

Re: The funny corner

by jimileysbaldhead » Tue Nov 27, 2018 8:43 am

Went to the sperm donor clinic yesterday and the nurse said " could I masturbate in the cup "
I replied " I'm good but not quite ready for tournaments yet "

Re: The funny corner

by jimileysbaldhead » Tue Nov 06, 2018 7:46 pm

A lorry laden with thousands of Thesauruses shed its load on the motorway yesterday.

Witnesses were said to be stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, confused, shocked, dazed, bewildered, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, confounded, amazed, perplexed and speechless.

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Mon Nov 05, 2018 8:26 pm



Weird world of Mike Dean...

Re: The funny corner

by jimileysbaldhead » Thu Oct 25, 2018 8:53 pm

Bad news for dyslexics, on the 28th October your cocks go black.

Re: The funny corner

by jimileysbaldhead » Wed Oct 10, 2018 10:09 pm

Just spent an hour at the wife's grave. Bless her, she thinks I'm digging a pond.

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Thu Oct 04, 2018 9:23 pm

Me and my family moved to this new town last week and I'm a little bit concerned. The town's doctor is Harold Shipman, the babysitter is Jon Venables, the school caretaker is Ian Huntley, the youth club is run by Myra Hindley, Jimmy Savile is in charge of the kids parties, but most disturbing of all the local football team is managed by Jose Mourinho.

Re: The funny corner

by lassassinblanc » Mon Sep 24, 2018 2:19 pm

Why did Karl Marx only write in small letters?

He hated capitalism

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Mon Sep 24, 2018 12:03 pm

haha, you couldn't do this if you tried!!

Re: The funny corner

by ScottW1886 » Mon Sep 24, 2018 11:56 am

jimileysbaldhead wrote:
Fri Sep 21, 2018 5:18 pm
In a Glasgow Pub Quiz, the final question to win £1000 pounds is:
"Take That's first Album had a four word title, the first two words were, "Take That, what were the second two?"

After a lengthy silence a wee Glaswegian man stands up and says.." was it.. Ya Bastard?"
First question in a pub quiz up here is always "whit the f*** you looking at?"

Re: The funny corner

by jimileysbaldhead » Fri Sep 21, 2018 5:18 pm

In a Glasgow Pub Quiz, the final question to win £1000 pounds is:
"Take That's first Album had a four word title, the first two words were, "Take That, what were the second two?"

After a lengthy silence a wee Glaswegian man stands up and says.." was it.. Ya Bastard?"

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Fri Sep 21, 2018 9:49 am

Some golden ones from Twitter -





Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Thu Sep 20, 2018 9:22 pm

"When I first said I wanted to be a comedian, everybody laughed. They're not laughing now."

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Thu Sep 20, 2018 9:19 pm

Whoever invented the knock knock joke...

Should get a Nobell prize...

Re: The funny corner

by lassassinblanc » Thu Sep 20, 2018 9:11 pm

Bought a blindfold today not sure why I can't see myself wearing it

Re: The funny corner

by Speedo » Sat Sep 15, 2018 6:59 am

Just came across a friend of a friend on Facebook who’s name is... Tory Hoare. That’s gotta be tough

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Sat Sep 08, 2018 5:03 pm

‍Imagine The Titanic with a lisp
...

It's unthinkable

Re: The funny corner

by Tsi » Thu Sep 06, 2018 1:16 pm

A girl came up to me and said she recognised me from her vegetarian restaurant.
I was a bit confused, I'd never met herbivore.

Re: The funny corner

by jimileysbaldhead » Wed Sep 05, 2018 8:23 am

The young couple next door have made a sex video.
Obviously they don't know yet.

Re: The funny corner

by lassassinblanc » Thu Aug 30, 2018 1:37 pm

How many Vietnam veterans does it take to change a light bulb?


You wouldn't know man you weren't there

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