The funny corner

Post a reply


This question is a means of preventing automated form submissions by spambots.

BBCode is ON
[img] is OFF
[flash] is OFF
[url] is ON
Smilies are OFF

Topic review
   

Expand view Topic review: The funny corner

Re: The funny corner

by jimileysbaldhead » Fri Jul 13, 2018 6:11 pm

My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet whilst she was cooking, so I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Sun Jul 08, 2018 1:23 pm

I've just been on a round-the-world holiday. Next year I'm going somewhere different!

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Thu Jul 05, 2018 12:16 pm

I've just been asked what's the difference between ignorance & apathy ?
My response was I didn't know & didn't care

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've just come back from a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again!

Re: The funny corner

by bigbelgiandave » Thu Jul 05, 2018 11:01 am

Bloody Foreigner.

Coming over to our country and demanding to know what love is.

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Tue Jul 03, 2018 1:37 am

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Mon Jul 02, 2018 11:28 am



excellent

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Mon Jul 02, 2018 8:47 am

Saw a brilliant Nigerian sci-fi page on the web last night:

"How to get your own robot name."

You input all the numbers on your credit card, the expiry date and the last 3 digits on the back . Then it randomly generates it for you, mine's...


1D10T

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Sun Jul 01, 2018 8:29 am

My wife yelled at me earlier "You weren't even listening there, were you?"

I thought "What a weird way to start a conversation".

Re: The funny corner

by Bodacious Benny » Sat Jun 30, 2018 4:02 pm

<laugh>

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Sat Jun 30, 2018 1:07 am

Image

Re: The funny corner

by jimileysbaldhead » Fri Jun 29, 2018 10:14 pm

My wife has just accused me of being childish. I told her in no uncertain terms to get out of my fort.

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Fri Jun 29, 2018 8:23 pm

All my German friends have blocked me since Germany’s exit from the World Cup ! My phone is now completely Hans Free...

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Fri Jun 29, 2018 8:19 pm

Image

Re: The funny corner

by lassassinblanc » Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:28 am

An Irish priest is driving along a country road when a copper pulls him over:

'Have you been drinking?' He asks.
'Just water' replied the priest.
Cop says, 'So why do I smell wine?'
Priest looks over at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord, he's done it again'

Re: The funny corner

by jimileysbaldhead » Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:15 pm

I'm playing Scrabble with Midge Ure.
I've got 4 letters left, but they mean nothing to me.

O V N R

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Mon Jun 11, 2018 8:47 pm

Just back from holiday in Thailand & I came close to going all the way with a ladyboy! Looked like a lady, walked & talked like a lady, kissed like a lady.

It was only when she drove me to her place & reversed the car in the garage first time I thought to myself "Hang on a bloody minute..."

Re: The funny corner

by bigbelgiandave » Mon Jun 11, 2018 7:12 pm

Some Gringo's pinched my sombrero wrote:
Mon Jun 11, 2018 6:53 pm
bigbelgiandave wrote:
Mon Jun 11, 2018 7:52 am


Took me a few minutes.
Ha. I should have mentioned the offside rule
Ah I thought that was the point of the joke! I wouldn't have laughed if it had been immediately obvious what it was about <laugh>

Re: The funny corner

by Some Gringo's pinched my sombrero » Mon Jun 11, 2018 6:53 pm

bigbelgiandave wrote:
Mon Jun 11, 2018 7:52 am
Some Gringo's pinched my sombrero wrote:
Sun Jun 10, 2018 8:50 am
So....... you are in Primark - you're second in the queue at the checkout,


The woman in front, after much searching discovers she has not got her purse with her.


You then discover you have not got yours.


Then a friend, who is some way down a rapidly building queue calls out that you can borrow her purse.


Now rather than lose her place in the queue she calls out that she will throw it to you.


Once she has thrown it, and ( this is important ) only when she has thrown it you can dodge in front of the woman in front, catch the purse and confront the girl on the checkout.


Think the ladies will understand that?
Took me a few minutes.
Ha. I should have mentioned the offside rule

Re: The funny corner

by bigbelgiandave » Mon Jun 11, 2018 7:52 am

Some Gringo's pinched my sombrero wrote:
Sun Jun 10, 2018 8:50 am
So....... you are in Primark - you're second in the queue at the checkout,


The woman in front, after much searching discovers she has not got her purse with her.


You then discover you have not got yours.


Then a friend, who is some way down a rapidly building queue calls out that you can borrow her purse.


Now rather than lose her place in the queue she calls out that she will throw it to you.


Once she has thrown it, and ( this is important ) only when she has thrown it you can dodge in front of the woman in front, catch the purse and confront the girl on the checkout.


Think the ladies will understand that?
Took me a few minutes.

Re: The funny corner

by Some Gringo's pinched my sombrero » Sun Jun 10, 2018 8:50 am

So....... you are in Primark - you're second in the queue at the checkout,


The woman in front, after much searching discovers she has not got her purse with her.


You then discover you have not got yours.


Then a friend, who is some way down a rapidly building queue calls out that you can borrow her purse.


Now rather than lose her place in the queue she calls out that she will throw it to you.


Once she has thrown it, and ( this is important ) only when she has thrown it you can dodge in front of the woman in front, catch the purse and confront the girl on the checkout.


Think the ladies will understand that?

Top