The funny corner

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Re: The funny corner

by jimileysbaldhead » Fri Aug 17, 2018 5:12 am

I'm not a great fan of innuendos, however I do like to slip one in now and again.

Re: The funny corner

by lassassinblanc » Thu Aug 16, 2018 9:26 am

There's a head on collision in city centre, the driver of each car gets out to observe the damage, the driver of one car is wearing a Newcastle top and the other driver is wearing a Sunderland top. Both cars are totally mangled and written off. The Newcastle fan says "we were very lucky to walk away from that, makes you think, its time we put all this animosity aside and forgot about the rivalry", goes to the boot of his car and gets out a bottle of scotch and asks if the Sunderland fan will join him for a drink.
"Och I suppose you're right, give us a swig of that bottle" says the Sunderland fan, drinks half the bottle, hands it back to the Newcastle fan and says "go ahead there". The Newcastle fan says "no its ok, I think I'll just wait until the police arrive"

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Sat Aug 11, 2018 7:50 am

My wife once informed me...
"Sex is better on holiday"
That really wasn’t a nice postcard to receive….

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Sat Aug 11, 2018 7:49 am

Looks like Bayern are ready for the season....

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Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Thu Aug 09, 2018 1:04 pm

I don't mean to take the piss but ...

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Re: The funny corner

by jimileysbaldhead » Wed Aug 08, 2018 12:49 pm

" congratulations Mr Thomson your wife has given birth to 5 healthy baby boys "

" I'm not surprised, I've got a penis like a f@cking chimney "

" you may want to consider getting it cleaned, they're all black "

Re: The funny corner

by jimileysbaldhead » Mon Aug 06, 2018 4:15 pm

My missus thinks I'm a nosey bastard. I wish she'd tell me to my face rather than put it in her diary.

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Mon Aug 06, 2018 2:13 pm

- Hey, would you invite me over for a drink or something?

- I'd love to, but I simply do not date married women.

- But I'm your wife, stupid idiot!

- Sorry, but I do not make exceptions…

Re: The funny corner

by Somebodys pinched my sombrero » Mon Aug 06, 2018 9:10 am

Not a joke as such, but I heard the most revolting comment yesterday. "Eeeeh my mate, she's as thick as monks cum!" <puke>

Re: The funny corner

by Bodacious Benny » Mon Aug 06, 2018 9:02 am

Strict!

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Mon Aug 06, 2018 6:34 am

What's the point.


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Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Sun Aug 05, 2018 10:36 am

Apparently West Brom's new mascot is a boiler

The Bolton fans' reaction was more than fair...

Re: The funny corner

by PTAO? » Wed Jul 18, 2018 1:02 pm

jimileysbaldhead wrote:
Tue Jul 17, 2018 7:27 pm
If I had 50p for every maths test I'd failed I'd have £9.20p by now.
Well it would class as taxable income.

Re: The funny corner

by jimileysbaldhead » Tue Jul 17, 2018 7:27 pm

If I had 50p for every maths test I'd failed I'd have £9.20p by now.

Re: The funny corner

by jimileysbaldhead » Fri Jul 13, 2018 6:11 pm

My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet whilst she was cooking, so I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Sun Jul 08, 2018 1:23 pm

I've just been on a round-the-world holiday. Next year I'm going somewhere different!

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Thu Jul 05, 2018 12:16 pm

I've just been asked what's the difference between ignorance & apathy ?
My response was I didn't know & didn't care

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've just come back from a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again!

Re: The funny corner

by biggeordiedave » Thu Jul 05, 2018 11:01 am

Bloody Foreigner.

Coming over to our country and demanding to know what love is.

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Tue Jul 03, 2018 1:37 am

Re: The funny corner

by daib0 » Mon Jul 02, 2018 11:28 am



excellent

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