Search found 1226 matches

by jimileysbaldhead
Fri Mar 15, 2019 8:58 am
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 280
Views: 18523

Re: The funny corner

Missing: black and white cat, very very intelligent.

Tiddles, if you're reading this please come home.
by jimileysbaldhead
Thu Mar 14, 2019 1:41 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 280
Views: 18523

Re: The funny corner

I met Elkie Brooks at Crufts and asked her if I could guess the name of her dog. "Yes", she said, "but you're a fool if you think it's Rover".
by jimileysbaldhead
Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:34 pm
Forum: Football Discussion
Topic: Who was your first Newcastle United idol?
Replies: 32
Views: 933

Re: Who was your first Newcastle United idol?

Jim Iley from the day he scored the winner against Bolton Wanderers in 1965 to clinch promotion to the 1st Division.
by jimileysbaldhead
Sun Feb 03, 2019 10:19 am
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 280
Views: 18523

Re: The funny corner

Had a dream last night I was getting a blow job off the blonde one in Abba, woke up with a start when his beard started to tickle me bollocks.
by jimileysbaldhead
Fri Feb 01, 2019 6:06 pm
Forum: Football Discussion
Topic: NUFC apparently take loan from Barclay's to fund transfers
Replies: 24
Views: 1003

Re: NUFC apparently take loan from Barclay's to fund transfers

Bodacious Benny wrote:
Fri Feb 01, 2019 5:02 pm
Rob is such a strong word, I prefer relieved them of their capital.
I'm assuming you were too much of a gent to use your Nectar card.
by jimileysbaldhead
Fri Feb 01, 2019 9:05 am
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 280
Views: 18523

Re: The funny corner

Just rang the drug addiction centre and the recorded message said " if you have a problem with cannabis press hash "

If your issue is with cocaine, stay on the line "
by jimileysbaldhead
Sat Dec 01, 2018 6:13 am
Forum: Football Discussion
Topic: Match day thread - NUFC v West ‘am
Replies: 96
Views: 3428

Re: Match day thread - NUFC v West ‘am

I'm struggling to get K+NS ( Vietnam), so for that reason I'm out.
by jimileysbaldhead
Tue Nov 27, 2018 8:43 am
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 280
Views: 18523

Re: The funny corner

Went to the sperm donor clinic yesterday and the nurse said " could I masturbate in the cup "
I replied " I'm good but not quite ready for tournaments yet "
by jimileysbaldhead
Mon Nov 26, 2018 6:47 pm
Forum: Football Discussion
Topic: Match day thread - Burnley v NUFC
Replies: 147
Views: 3628

Re: Match day thread - Burnley v NUFC

3-1 win for the lads tonight. I've never seen them lose in the pub I'm watching the match tonight.
That said I'm normally that p!ssed I can't see much anyway.
by jimileysbaldhead
Sun Nov 25, 2018 6:58 am
Forum: Football Discussion
Topic: Jim Iley
Replies: 14
Views: 839

Re: Jim Iley

F*ck me, now I am worried. I'm going in for a hip replacement next week. Hope the chap has done one before.
by jimileysbaldhead
Tue Nov 06, 2018 7:46 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 280
Views: 18523

Re: The funny corner

A lorry laden with thousands of Thesauruses shed its load on the motorway yesterday. Witnesses were said to be stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, confused, shocked, dazed, bewildered, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, confounded, amazed, perplexed and speechless.
by jimileysbaldhead
Thu Oct 25, 2018 8:53 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 280
Views: 18523

Re: The funny corner

Bad news for dyslexics, on the 28th October your cocks go black.
by jimileysbaldhead
Wed Oct 10, 2018 10:09 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 280
Views: 18523

Re: The funny corner

Just spent an hour at the wife's grave. Bless her, she thinks I'm digging a pond.
by jimileysbaldhead
Wed Oct 10, 2018 10:07 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: Toilet paper!
Replies: 18
Views: 1001

Re: Toilet paper!

We used to use that shiny Izal stuff at school back in the 60's. We used to call it John Wayne paper because it wouldn't take sh!t off anyone. If you tried wiping too hard it would slip and you ended up with a back looking like runway three at Heathrow I remember Izal it was like grease proof paper...
by jimileysbaldhead
Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:51 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: Toilet paper!
Replies: 18
Views: 1001

Re: Toilet paper!

We used to use that shiny Izal stuff at school back in the 60's. We used to call it John Wayne paper because it wouldn't take sh!t off anyone.
If you tried wiping too hard it would slip and you ended up with a back looking like runway three at Heathrow
by jimileysbaldhead
Fri Sep 21, 2018 5:18 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 280
Views: 18523

Re: The funny corner

In a Glasgow Pub Quiz, the final question to win £1000 pounds is:
"Take That's first Album had a four word title, the first two words were, "Take That, what were the second two?"

After a lengthy silence a wee Glaswegian man stands up and says.." was it.. Ya Bastard?"
by jimileysbaldhead
Wed Sep 05, 2018 8:23 am
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 280
Views: 18523

Re: The funny corner

The young couple next door have made a sex video.
Obviously they don't know yet.
by jimileysbaldhead
Tue Aug 21, 2018 7:07 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 280
Views: 18523

Re: The funny corner

Had a pint with a dyslexic Yorkshireman tonight, he was wearing a cat flap.
by jimileysbaldhead
Fri Aug 17, 2018 5:12 am
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 280
Views: 18523

Re: The funny corner

I'm not a great fan of innuendos, however I do like to slip one in now and again.
by jimileysbaldhead
Thu Aug 16, 2018 8:14 pm
Forum: Football Discussion
Topic: Bobby Madley quits as referee after allegedly shagging a dog
Replies: 33
Views: 7198

Re: Bobby Madley quits as referee after allegedly shagging a dog

I wonder how much the pups will go for?
A labromaddle must be worth a few quid.