Search found 1235 matches

by jimileysbaldhead
Wed Jan 29, 2020 8:27 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 303
Views: 54311

Re: The funny corner

Yesterday I saw a car with a boot sticker saying "I'm a vet, therefore I can drive like an animal"
It was at that moment that I realised how many Gynaecologists there are on the roads!
by jimileysbaldhead
Wed Dec 04, 2019 6:37 am
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 303
Views: 54311

Re: The funny corner

Bought the wife a pug yesterday .
Despite the squashed face, bulging eyes and rolls of fat the dog seems to like her.
by jimileysbaldhead
Sat Oct 26, 2019 4:30 pm
Forum: Football Discussion
Topic: Mackems
Replies: 100
Views: 12737

Re: Mackems

Parkinson's certainly made a shaky start.
by jimileysbaldhead
Mon Sep 02, 2019 10:03 am
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 303
Views: 54311

Re: The funny corner

Had the sh!ts for 6 weeks so I went to the doctors. He said " don't worry they're back to school tomorrow "
by jimileysbaldhead
Sat Aug 31, 2019 11:26 am
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 303
Views: 54311

Re: The funny corner

Checked into a Swiss euthanasia clinic last, the bastards gave me Cheerios for breakfast.
by jimileysbaldhead
Thu Jun 20, 2019 12:45 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 303
Views: 54311

Re: The funny corner

Currently bird watching with Sinead O'Connor.

So far its been seven owls and fifteen jays.....
by jimileysbaldhead
Tue Apr 02, 2019 10:04 am
Forum: Football Discussion
Topic: Pickford being investigated...
Replies: 6
Views: 1362

Re: Pickford being investigated...

I'm pretty sure he's so red faced because he holds his fireworks at arms length.
by jimileysbaldhead
Tue Apr 02, 2019 9:25 am
Forum: Football Discussion
Topic: Pickford being investigated...
Replies: 6
Views: 1362

Re: Pickford being investigated...

He'll get a shock when the long arm of the law catches up with him.
by jimileysbaldhead
Tue Apr 02, 2019 9:21 am
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 303
Views: 54311

Re: The funny corner

I asked the wife if I was the only one she'd ever been with. She said yes, all the others were nine or ten.
by jimileysbaldhead
Fri Mar 15, 2019 8:58 am
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 303
Views: 54311

Re: The funny corner

Missing: black and white cat, very very intelligent.

Tiddles, if you're reading this please come home.
by jimileysbaldhead
Thu Mar 14, 2019 1:41 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 303
Views: 54311

Re: The funny corner

I met Elkie Brooks at Crufts and asked her if I could guess the name of her dog. "Yes", she said, "but you're a fool if you think it's Rover".
by jimileysbaldhead
Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:34 pm
Forum: Football Discussion
Topic: Who was your first Newcastle United idol?
Replies: 32
Views: 4906

Re: Who was your first Newcastle United idol?

Jim Iley from the day he scored the winner against Bolton Wanderers in 1965 to clinch promotion to the 1st Division.
by jimileysbaldhead
Sun Feb 03, 2019 10:19 am
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 303
Views: 54311

Re: The funny corner

Had a dream last night I was getting a blow job off the blonde one in Abba, woke up with a start when his beard started to tickle me bollocks.
by jimileysbaldhead
Fri Feb 01, 2019 6:06 pm
Forum: Football Discussion
Topic: NUFC apparently take loan from Barclay's to fund transfers
Replies: 24
Views: 3401

Re: NUFC apparently take loan from Barclay's to fund transfers

Bodacious Benny wrote:
Fri Feb 01, 2019 5:02 pm
Rob is such a strong word, I prefer relieved them of their capital.
I'm assuming you were too much of a gent to use your Nectar card.
by jimileysbaldhead
Fri Feb 01, 2019 9:05 am
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 303
Views: 54311

Re: The funny corner

Just rang the drug addiction centre and the recorded message said " if you have a problem with cannabis press hash "

If your issue is with cocaine, stay on the line "
by jimileysbaldhead
Sat Dec 01, 2018 6:13 am
Forum: Football Discussion
Topic: Match day thread - NUFC v West ‘am
Replies: 96
Views: 11720

Re: Match day thread - NUFC v West ‘am

I'm struggling to get K+NS ( Vietnam), so for that reason I'm out.
by jimileysbaldhead
Tue Nov 27, 2018 8:43 am
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 303
Views: 54311

Re: The funny corner

Went to the sperm donor clinic yesterday and the nurse said " could I masturbate in the cup "
I replied " I'm good but not quite ready for tournaments yet "
by jimileysbaldhead
Mon Nov 26, 2018 6:47 pm
Forum: Football Discussion
Topic: Match day thread - Burnley v NUFC
Replies: 147
Views: 15243

Re: Match day thread - Burnley v NUFC

3-1 win for the lads tonight. I've never seen them lose in the pub I'm watching the match tonight.
That said I'm normally that p!ssed I can't see much anyway.
by jimileysbaldhead
Sun Nov 25, 2018 6:58 am
Forum: Football Discussion
Topic: Jim Iley
Replies: 14
Views: 2688

Re: Jim Iley

F*ck me, now I am worried. I'm going in for a hip replacement next week. Hope the chap has done one before.
by jimileysbaldhead
Tue Nov 06, 2018 7:46 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: The funny corner
Replies: 303
Views: 54311

Re: The funny corner

A lorry laden with thousands of Thesauruses shed its load on the motorway yesterday. Witnesses were said to be stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, confused, shocked, dazed, bewildered, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, confounded, amazed, perplexed and speechless.