The funny corner

daib0
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Re: The funny corner

Post by daib0 » Thu Feb 13, 2020 6:08 pm

THE ITALIAN WEDDING

I was a very happy man. My wonderful Italian girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year. So we decided to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister, Sofia. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less.

She would regularly bend down when she was near me. I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. She never did it around anyone else.

One day she called me and asked me to come over. 'To check my Sister's wedding- invitations' she said.
She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to m e that she had feelings and desires for me. She couldn't overcome them anymore. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married. She said "Before you commit your life to my sister". Well, I was in total shock, and I couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom" she said, "if you want one last wild fling, just come up and have me".

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment. Then turned and made a bee-line straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me. He said, 'My son, we are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family my son.'

And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car!!
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daib0
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Re: The funny corner

Post by daib0 » Mon Mar 02, 2020 2:06 pm

Keighley police are hunting a woman known as the 'knitting needle Nutter', who has stabbed 16 people in the backside with a knitting needle in the last two days.
Chief inspector Malcolm Ballcock thinks she may be following some sort of pattern...
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daib0
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Re: The funny corner

Post by daib0 » Wed Mar 04, 2020 1:23 pm

Billy and Mick were walking past the grave yard when Mick says "flippin hell Billy theres a fella here was 152 when he died!"

"What's his name?" asked Billy.

"152 ... Miles From London"
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UlversToon
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Re: The funny corner

Post by UlversToon » Fri Mar 06, 2020 9:41 pm

A lorry load of terrapins overturned on the A1 near Newcastle today.... a police spokesman has described it as a “Turtle disaster “.

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