Pavel's eBar

[bodacious benny]

1h 11m of pretending to work left.

[jpg]

Just exchanged on my first house!



Goodbye hopes and dreams!

Congratulations!

Home ownership is such a pain in the ass

Apparently it's worth it in the long run but 5.5 years in and I'm yet to see it

If you've bought something you can afford then you'll be absolutely fine !

[overseasTOON]

I suffered a footballing injury last night.

I was in defence and the opposition had a free kick just outside the box. They chipped it in and the keeper dived to his left and managed to push it onto the upright. The ball was rolling along the line so I had to get it clear with opposition players closing in. I went to get my foot under it and lift it over when I suddenly woke up in agony because I'd managed to kick the bedroom wall.

[bodacious benny]

I've been on the bog half the morning, must have eaten something that disagreed with me. It's like someone's opened a tap on my arse, I'm scared to fart as I'm not sure what will come out.

[Micky Quim]

I've been on the bog half the morning, must have eaten something that disagreed with me. It's like someone's opened a tap on my arse, I'm scared to fart as I'm not sure what will come out.

Join the club

[bodacious benny]

I've been on the bog half the morning, must have eaten something that disagreed with me. It's like someone's opened a tap on my arse, I'm scared to fart as I'm not sure what will come out.

Join the club

I don't recall ever having had the shits where it's literally like brown water flowing out

[bodacious benny]

Projectile vomiting followed by nearly 3 hours kip. This has wiped me out.

[Micky Quim]

Join the club

I don't recall ever having had the shits where it's literally like brown water flowing out

I wish I could say the same!

It is f***ing awful tho so I have sympathy for you. If I eat anything with chilli in it these days Im in absolute agony the next day and squirting boiling hot brown sauce

[Aldridge Prior]

I've just had a hotter than usual madras.

Can't wait to s*** it out tomorrow, a hot curry always smells amazing on the way back out.

Tempted to grab a spoon and have at it, straight from the bowl. Then maybe do it again after I poo it out a second time.

If I repeat that process several dozen times over a couple of weeks, could I eventually shart the whole thing into a tub and sell it to some chinese people as some kind of delicacy? Or will I just be dead?

[Hjl]

I've just had a hotter than usual madras.

Can't wait to s*** it out tomorrow, a hot curry always smells amazing on the way back out.

Tempted to grab a spoon and have at it, straight from the bowl. Then maybe do it again after I poo it out a second time.

If I repeat that process several dozen times over a couple of weeks, could I eventually shart the whole thing into a tub and sell it to some chinese people as some kind of delicacy? Or will I just be dead?

[Tsi]

I've just had a hotter than usual madras.

Can't wait to s*** it out tomorrow, a hot curry always smells amazing on the way back out.

Tempted to grab a spoon and have at it, straight from the bowl. Then maybe do it again after I poo it out a second time.

If I repeat that process several dozen times over a couple of weeks, could I eventually shart the whole thing into a tub and sell it to some chinese people as some kind of delicacy? Or will I just be dead?

crying with laughter here
One of the funniest things i've read on this forum

[Don Sholeone]

.... Well with that weirdness out the way.

Am I the only one here that drinks a mug of Oxo "broth"?

Currently have a bit of tonsillitis and everyone keeps telling me to gargle salt water (which instantly makes me vomit) I told a couple of people I'll try it with Oxo as I like to drink it so I should be able to gargle it easily and I just got looked at shamefully and told I was disgusting. Like what's the difference, ones salt water the other is beefy salt water and tastes f***ing amazing. When I'm done gargling it I'll probably polish it off with a bit of toast f*** em.

I've been on the bog half the morning, must have eaten something that disagreed with me. It's like someone's opened a tap on my arse, I'm scared to fart as I'm not sure what will come out.

I was like that last weekend and I kinda sharted on my soon to be sis in law, I'm not that keen on her so I annoy her at any opportunity and I "accidently" farted on her as I walked by, but it was actually a shart, I'd kinda forgotten I'd been a bit watery and this was like an inch from her face as she was sat down. I didn't feel bad about it.

[Tsi]

.... Well with that weirdness out the way.

Yeah sure because gargling oxo broth and having a liquid fart in your sister in laws face is totally normal

[Don Sholeone]

.... Well with that weirdness out the way.

Yeah sure because gargling oxo broth and having a liquid fart in your sister in laws face is totally normal

Compared to eating your own curry s*** multiple times because it "smells good on the way out" yeah I'd say gargling Oxo is pretty normal after that!.

[Tsi]

Yeah sure because gargling oxo broth and having a liquid fart in your sister in laws face is totally normal

Compared to eating your own curry s*** multiple times because it "smells good on the way out" yeah I'd say gargling Oxo is pretty normal after that!.

True

[overseasTOON]

After the rugby debacle I'm in the mood for a lobster thermidor.

[Micky Quim]

Where is good to eat in Newcastle at the moment - not interested in fine dining like House of Tides thanks

[overseasTOON]

The BBC have changed the map of the UK for the weather pages as the previous version made people seasick.

[Ramone]

Where is good to eat in Newcastle at the moment - not interested in fine dining like House of Tides thanks

You been to The Bake before?

[biggeordiedave]

Where is good to eat in Newcastle at the moment - not interested in fine dining like House of Tides thanks

You been to The Bake before?

The Bake

I have absolutely no issue with driving to Byker from Blyth (probably about an hour round trip) just to get a shawarma .