The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
- Micky Quim
- PSA Chairman
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
Just sharted whilst sharing a jacuzzi with my wife. Great way to end our holiday
- biggeordiedave
- Living in his head rent free
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
Did the milk [water] turn chocolatey-brown?Micky Quim wrote:Just sharted whilst sharing a jacuzzi with my wife. Great way to end our holiday
Kindly deeds done for free!
- Micky Quim
- PSA Chairman
- Posts: 9192
- Joined: Sun Feb 03, 2013 9:54 pm
- Location: Monte Darlo
Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
Nah. It was only a little bum squirt but is absolutely stunk. I'm blaming a spicy chicken wrap I had at lunch. She's only just started speaking to me again
- biggeordiedave
- Living in his head rent free
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- Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:06 pm
- Location: Northumberland... so not actually a Geordie
Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
Surely she's used to it by now.Micky Quim wrote:Nah. It was only a little bum squirt but is absolutely stunk. I'm blaming a spicy chicken wrap I had at lunch. She's only just started speaking to me again
Kindly deeds done for free!
Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
what the f*** is with you lot and shitting yourselves??
- biggeordiedave
- Living in his head rent free
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- Location: Northumberland... so not actually a Geordie
Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
Just upset the wife with a fart myself
Kindly deeds done for free!
Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
f*** sake Quim.
Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
Just had one of these.
I needed my standard post lunch s*** at work so I went to the disabled toilets because they're big and airy and I've been sweating buckets all day. I sat down and pulled my phone out to have a browse while letting gravity work it's magic. There was a knock at the door. It was the cleaner, she needed to get in because some f***ing genius decided to put the cleaning cupboard in the toilet. I sped things up as much as possible, unfortunately the consistency wasn't great and it was a bit of a smelly one. I tried to flush and all that happened was that my s*** mixed around a little bit. The toilet was f***ing clogged. I washed my hands and made a swift exit but when I left the cleaner looked me dead in the eyes as the waft of shitty air hit her, now she knows the disgusting things that come out of my arse.
I see her every f***ing day as well.
I needed my standard post lunch s*** at work so I went to the disabled toilets because they're big and airy and I've been sweating buckets all day. I sat down and pulled my phone out to have a browse while letting gravity work it's magic. There was a knock at the door. It was the cleaner, she needed to get in because some f***ing genius decided to put the cleaning cupboard in the toilet. I sped things up as much as possible, unfortunately the consistency wasn't great and it was a bit of a smelly one. I tried to flush and all that happened was that my s*** mixed around a little bit. The toilet was f***ing clogged. I washed my hands and made a swift exit but when I left the cleaner looked me dead in the eyes as the waft of shitty air hit her, now she knows the disgusting things that come out of my arse.
I see her every f***ing day as well.
REQUIEM
- bodacious benny
- Whiskey Business
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
I'm the scumbag outlaw. You're the pillar of justice. Neither of us like looking at ourselves in the mirror. Do we have a deal?
- overseasTOON
- Uruguay (Nunez)
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
Needs more bagpipeRamone wrote:Just had one of these.
I needed my standard post lunch s*** at work so I went to the disabled toilets because they're big and airy and I've been sweating buckets all day. I sat down and pulled my phone out to have a browse while letting gravity work it's magic. There was a knock at the door. It was the cleaner, she needed to get in because some f***ing genius decided to put the cleaning cupboard in the toilet. I sped things up as much as possible, unfortunately the consistency wasn't great and it was a bit of a smelly one. I tried to flush and all that happened was that my s*** mixed around a little bit. The toilet was f***ing clogged. I washed my hands and made a swift exit but when I left the cleaner looked me dead in the eyes as the waft of s***ty air hit her, now she knows the disgusting things that come out of my arse.
I see her every f***ing day as well.
- jimileysbaldhead
- Tribal Elder
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- Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2012 8:35 pm
- Location: Melton Mowbray
Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
" how's your new job as a lavatory attendant going?"
" don't talk to me about being a lavatory attendant, there's blokes coming in pissed and throwing up on the floor, blokes getting blow jobs, blokes having sex with other bloke's and even coming in and having sex with animals.
It's like s breath of fresh air when someone comes in for a sh!t "
" don't talk to me about being a lavatory attendant, there's blokes coming in pissed and throwing up on the floor, blokes getting blow jobs, blokes having sex with other bloke's and even coming in and having sex with animals.
It's like s breath of fresh air when someone comes in for a sh!t "
My problem is reconciling my gross behaviour with my net income.
- biggeordiedave
- Living in his head rent free
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- Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:06 pm
- Location: Northumberland... so not actually a Geordie
Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
The company I work for kept old files and IT equipment in the toilets in our old building. So professional.Ramone wrote:Just had one of these.
I needed my standard post lunch s*** at work so I went to the disabled toilets because they're big and airy and I've been sweating buckets all day. I sat down and pulled my phone out to have a browse while letting gravity work it's magic. There was a knock at the door. It was the cleaner, she needed to get in because some f***ing genius decided to put the cleaning cupboard in the toilet. I sped things up as much as possible, unfortunately the consistency wasn't great and it was a bit of a smelly one. I tried to flush and all that happened was that my s*** mixed around a little bit. The toilet was f***ing clogged. I washed my hands and made a swift exit but when I left the cleaner looked me dead in the eyes as the waft of shitty air hit her, now she knows the disgusting things that come out of my arse.
I see her every f***ing day as well.
Kindly deeds done for free!
Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
When I started a new job a few years ago, I was about two days in. Got up from my chair to go to lunch but my leg had gone dead, so I fell flat on my face in front of the entire open plan office of around 150 employees. Never lived it down!!
- overseasTOON
- Uruguay (Nunez)
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
Bartlet87 wrote:When I started a new job a few years ago, I was about two days in. Got up from my chair to go to lunch but my leg had gone dead, so I fell flat on my face in front of the entire open plan office of around 150 employees. Never lived it down!!
Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
I always make a point of shaking my legs out before I get up now!!!
- biggeordiedave
- Living in his head rent free
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
Bumping this for anyone who is bored and needs to read some ridiculous stories. A particular favourite of mine appears early on and features our esteemed founder dancing to 'Blue' by Eiffel 65 in front of his school. Rumour has it he still busts those moves out at parties.
Kindly deeds done for free!
- bodacious benny
- Whiskey Business
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
Forgot about this
I'm the scumbag outlaw. You're the pillar of justice. Neither of us like looking at ourselves in the mirror. Do we have a deal?
Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
you bastard.biggeordiedave wrote: ↑Wed May 06, 2020 8:05 amBumping this for anyone who is bored and needs to read some ridiculous stories. A particular favourite of mine appears early on and features our esteemed founder dancing to 'Blue' by Eiffel 65 in front of his school. Rumour has it he still busts those moves out at parties.
- biggeordiedave
- Living in his head rent free
- Posts: 24278
- Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:06 pm
- Location: Northumberland... so not actually a Geordie
Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
skalpel wrote: ↑Wed May 06, 2020 10:25 amyou bastard.biggeordiedave wrote: ↑Wed May 06, 2020 8:05 amBumping this for anyone who is bored and needs to read some ridiculous stories. A particular favourite of mine appears early on and features our esteemed founder dancing to 'Blue' by Eiffel 65 in front of his school. Rumour has it he still busts those moves out at parties.
Kindly deeds done for free!
- Micky Quim
- PSA Chairman
- Posts: 9192
- Joined: Sun Feb 03, 2013 9:54 pm
- Location: Monte Darlo
Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
Just read the last few pages
This forum used to be fun!
This forum used to be fun!