The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
- overseasTOON
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
Read it from start to finish and man did we talk alot about s***.
- biggeordiedave
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
It's still funMicky Quim wrote: ↑Wed May 06, 2020 11:20 amJust read the last few pages
This forum used to be fun!
Kindly deeds done for free!
- biggeordiedave
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
I think the shitposting started at about page 8 or 9 and then we talked about nothing else but shitting from thereon.overseasTOON wrote: ↑Wed May 06, 2020 12:13 pmRead it from start to finish and man did we talk alot about s***.
Kindly deeds done for free!
Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
Jesus Christ.Sir Bobby wrote: ↑Fri Dec 13, 2013 5:50 pmI hope not...biggeordiedave wrote:You don't know any of us - get telling.
A couple of weeks ago, my flatmate's boyfriend and his mates came up and we went on a night out, where I was bought drinks for the entire night. After drinking an obscene amount we went through the park to get home and I went to bed. After a few hours of sleep I woke up to see s*** all over my bedsheets (and, worryingly, on my pillowcase). Obviously it didn't take me long to realise I'd shat myself. Not just a little poo though, a full on s*** must have occurred to explain the amount of faeces on my bed. There was also s*** all down my leg, and a fair amount on my hands and feet for some reason.
After doing my drunken best to clean myself in the shower, I was left with the conundrum of what to do with the bedsheets. Still being smashed, I decided to just scrunch them up and half-toss them out of my window. The next day when I woke up, my flatmate asked me if she could get her bathrobe back, which she'd left in my room the other night. I quickly ran into my room to see if it had escaped the carnage. It hadn't. There was three shitty marks on it. I did my best to clean and spray them without her realising, but even after a good clean she noticed. She looked at them, and then me. Just as I was about to 'fess up, she asked whether I'd been sick on it. Relieved, I said yes. She seemed disgusted but not too disgusted. When I'd gone to the bathroom to clean it, I'd noticed a s*** stain on the toilet as well; I cleaned it up, hoping I'd got there before anybody had noticed; I later found I was too late on that one though. I was late for the match by this point so I ran out the door thinking I'd sort the shitty sheets out when I got back... completely forgetting that I was going home for the weekend straight after the football.
Saturday night went fine. No-one rang. No-one texted. No-one knew. I'd done a good job protecting the s*** from the outside world, I thought. Then on the Sunday I got a text. Then another. Then 2 more. Then a phone call. All asking me to explain the shitty sheets hanging from my window. Apparently the sheets eventually fell out of my window and fell halfway into the person-below-me's room. After I read this I felt I owed them an explanation. I answered the phone call and, cos I'm an idiot who hadn't thought of an excuse, I admitted to shitting myself. Just as I put the phone down. I thought of a cover up; to say it was dog s*** from my shoes after going through the park and going to bed with my shoes on. I was unsure of how much of the s*** was on show though, which made this a risky call - if it was all on show, they'd know I was lying, as no dog could s*** that much. Still, I went for it - I rang them up and said I was joking and told them the 'truth'. They were more believing of that story than the true one (which I think speaks highly of how well regarded I am; people think I'm not a pantshitter).
After I got back, I scouted the communal areas I'd been that night, to see if there was any evidence. Unfortunately there was s*** in the sink; luckily I think it may have passed for sick. There was also s*** on the shower curtain, but it wasn't too noticeable. I moved on to my room. There was no smell. However, there was s*** on the window. There was s*** on the walls. There was s*** on my towels. There was s*** on my clothes. On my posters. On my laundry bag. There was even s*** on my computer (yes, the one I'm using to write this).
Once the girl with the bathrobe heard the story she went a bit cold on me. I think she knows.
I managed to clean it all up though and my room looks fairly normal. But even now, I still find the occasional memento.
Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
Also . The eight year commitment to this pledge is beautiful.biggeordiedave wrote: ↑Thu Dec 13, 2012 12:55 amf***ing hell Skalps. For as long as I know you on this forum, you will never, ever live that down .
- biggeordiedave
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
skalpel wrote: ↑Wed May 06, 2020 5:06 pmAlso . The eight year commitment to this pledge is beautiful.biggeordiedave wrote: ↑Thu Dec 13, 2012 12:55 amf***ing hell Skalps. For as long as I know you on this forum, you will never, ever live that down .
Kindly deeds done for free!
Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
Have a few cans of 1666 to forget about itskalpel wrote: ↑Wed May 06, 2020 5:06 pmAlso . The eight year commitment to this pledge is beautiful.biggeordiedave wrote: ↑Thu Dec 13, 2012 12:55 amf***ing hell Skalps. For as long as I know you on this forum, you will never, ever live that down .
- biggeordiedave
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
We still take the piss out of my mate for that about 15 years later.
Kindly deeds done for free!
- Blue & Maroon
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
f***ing grim reading this
-
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
Yet 3 years later!skalpel wrote: ↑Wed May 06, 2020 5:02 pmJesus Christ.Sir Bobby wrote: ↑Fri Dec 13, 2013 5:50 pm
I hope not...
A couple of weeks ago, my flatmate's boyfriend and his mates came up and we went on a night out, where I was bought drinks for the entire night. After drinking an obscene amount we went through the park to get home and I went to bed. After a few hours of sleep I woke up to see s*** all over my bedsheets (and, worryingly, on my pillowcase). Obviously it didn't take me long to realise I'd shat myself. Not just a little poo though, a full on s*** must have occurred to explain the amount of faeces on my bed. There was also s*** all down my leg, and a fair amount on my hands and feet for some reason.
After doing my drunken best to clean myself in the shower, I was left with the conundrum of what to do with the bedsheets. Still being smashed, I decided to just scrunch them up and half-toss them out of my window. The next day when I woke up, my flatmate asked me if she could get her bathrobe back, which she'd left in my room the other night. I quickly ran into my room to see if it had escaped the carnage. It hadn't. There was three shitty marks on it. I did my best to clean and spray them without her realising, but even after a good clean she noticed. She looked at them, and then me. Just as I was about to 'fess up, she asked whether I'd been sick on it. Relieved, I said yes. She seemed disgusted but not too disgusted. When I'd gone to the bathroom to clean it, I'd noticed a s*** stain on the toilet as well; I cleaned it up, hoping I'd got there before anybody had noticed; I later found I was too late on that one though. I was late for the match by this point so I ran out the door thinking I'd sort the shitty sheets out when I got back... completely forgetting that I was going home for the weekend straight after the football.
Saturday night went fine. No-one rang. No-one texted. No-one knew. I'd done a good job protecting the s*** from the outside world, I thought. Then on the Sunday I got a text. Then another. Then 2 more. Then a phone call. All asking me to explain the shitty sheets hanging from my window. Apparently the sheets eventually fell out of my window and fell halfway into the person-below-me's room. After I read this I felt I owed them an explanation. I answered the phone call and, cos I'm an idiot who hadn't thought of an excuse, I admitted to shitting myself. Just as I put the phone down. I thought of a cover up; to say it was dog s*** from my shoes after going through the park and going to bed with my shoes on. I was unsure of how much of the s*** was on show though, which made this a risky call - if it was all on show, they'd know I was lying, as no dog could s*** that much. Still, I went for it - I rang them up and said I was joking and told them the 'truth'. They were more believing of that story than the true one (which I think speaks highly of how well regarded I am; people think I'm not a pantshitter).
After I got back, I scouted the communal areas I'd been that night, to see if there was any evidence. Unfortunately there was s*** in the sink; luckily I think it may have passed for sick. There was also s*** on the shower curtain, but it wasn't too noticeable. I moved on to my room. There was no smell. However, there was s*** on the window. There was s*** on the walls. There was s*** on my towels. There was s*** on my clothes. On my posters. On my laundry bag. There was even s*** on my computer (yes, the one I'm using to write this).
Once the girl with the bathrobe heard the story she went a bit cold on me. I think she knows.
I managed to clean it all up though and my room looks fairly normal. But even now, I still find the occasional memento.
The f***ing hypocrisy
Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
Vomit is a step too far!
About a year ago I woke up from a night out shitting in the bin in my room so not much has changed on my end.
- Micky Quim
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
Other than a rare wet fart my ass seems to behave itself these days
- bodacious benny
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
Funny you should say that, I had what I thought was a wet fart when I got back from my run the other day, when I got changed I saw it was a little more than a wet fartMicky Quim wrote: ↑Thu May 07, 2020 6:49 amOther than a rare wet fart my ass seems to behave itself these days
Guess that makes me a fully inducted runner now
They say you're not a true horse rider until you've fallen off, maybe you're not a true runner until you've s*** yourself a little bit.
I'm the scumbag outlaw. You're the pillar of justice. Neither of us like looking at ourselves in the mirror. Do we have a deal?
Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
Personal favourite of mineQWOP wrote: ↑Sat Dec 15, 2012 6:19 pmIt all happened in year 10 of school. I was in a French lesson at the time and with the lesson just about to start I felt the urge to poo. Thinking to myself, I only had 1 hour to sit through I figured I could keep it in. About 20 minutes pass and my stomach is starting to hurt as I struggle to keep said poo in. I decide the best course of action it to curl up on my chair in a bid to keep it in. We approach the end of the lesson, I sneeze and hey presto I s*** myself. Ordinarily I would have managed to hide it. Sadly for me though, this was not a solid stool. I felt a warm brown liquid shoot out my arse and leave a mucky puddle as it seeped through my trousers. To make matters worse, I pissed myself too! I never poo without weeing at the same time . Admittedly, had I not shouted "f***" at the top of my voice I may not have attracted as much attention (nor a detention)
The whole class just stared at me as I sat there sopping wet covered in piss and s***. My poor teacher had no idea what to say or do. I just wished the floor had opened up and eaten me up.
Garrus Vakarian wrote:It's so easy to see the galaxy in black and white, but grey? I don't know what to do with grey...
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
Any professional will tell you that curling up simply encourages the poo to come out. Squatting is the best pooing position and curling up is basically squatting on a chair. Sorry to say he had it coming with moves like that.
Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
- biggeordiedave
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
I hope I have unlocked a lot of repressed memories
Except for skalps. I know that dance routine is the first thing he thinks about in the morning and the last thing he thinks about at night.
Except for skalps. I know that dance routine is the first thing he thinks about in the morning and the last thing he thinks about at night.
Kindly deeds done for free!
Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life
f***ing hell.skalpel wrote: ↑Wed May 06, 2020 5:02 pmJesus Christ.Sir Bobby wrote: ↑Fri Dec 13, 2013 5:50 pm
I hope not...
A couple of weeks ago, my flatmate's boyfriend and his mates came up and we went on a night out, where I was bought drinks for the entire night. After drinking an obscene amount we went through the park to get home and I went to bed. After a few hours of sleep I woke up to see s*** all over my bedsheets (and, worryingly, on my pillowcase). Obviously it didn't take me long to realise I'd shat myself. Not just a little poo though, a full on s*** must have occurred to explain the amount of faeces on my bed. There was also s*** all down my leg, and a fair amount on my hands and feet for some reason.
After doing my drunken best to clean myself in the shower, I was left with the conundrum of what to do with the bedsheets. Still being smashed, I decided to just scrunch them up and half-toss them out of my window. The next day when I woke up, my flatmate asked me if she could get her bathrobe back, which she'd left in my room the other night. I quickly ran into my room to see if it had escaped the carnage. It hadn't. There was three shitty marks on it. I did my best to clean and spray them without her realising, but even after a good clean she noticed. She looked at them, and then me. Just as I was about to 'fess up, she asked whether I'd been sick on it. Relieved, I said yes. She seemed disgusted but not too disgusted. When I'd gone to the bathroom to clean it, I'd noticed a s*** stain on the toilet as well; I cleaned it up, hoping I'd got there before anybody had noticed; I later found I was too late on that one though. I was late for the match by this point so I ran out the door thinking I'd sort the shitty sheets out when I got back... completely forgetting that I was going home for the weekend straight after the football.
Saturday night went fine. No-one rang. No-one texted. No-one knew. I'd done a good job protecting the s*** from the outside world, I thought. Then on the Sunday I got a text. Then another. Then 2 more. Then a phone call. All asking me to explain the shitty sheets hanging from my window. Apparently the sheets eventually fell out of my window and fell halfway into the person-below-me's room. After I read this I felt I owed them an explanation. I answered the phone call and, cos I'm an idiot who hadn't thought of an excuse, I admitted to shitting myself. Just as I put the phone down. I thought of a cover up; to say it was dog s*** from my shoes after going through the park and going to bed with my shoes on. I was unsure of how much of the s*** was on show though, which made this a risky call - if it was all on show, they'd know I was lying, as no dog could s*** that much. Still, I went for it - I rang them up and said I was joking and told them the 'truth'. They were more believing of that story than the true one (which I think speaks highly of how well regarded I am; people think I'm not a pantshitter).
After I got back, I scouted the communal areas I'd been that night, to see if there was any evidence. Unfortunately there was s*** in the sink; luckily I think it may have passed for sick. There was also s*** on the shower curtain, but it wasn't too noticeable. I moved on to my room. There was no smell. However, there was s*** on the window. There was s*** on the walls. There was s*** on my towels. There was s*** on my clothes. On my posters. On my laundry bag. There was even s*** on my computer (yes, the one I'm using to write this).
Once the girl with the bathrobe heard the story she went a bit cold on me. I think she knows.
I managed to clean it all up though and my room looks fairly normal. But even now, I still find the occasional memento.