The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Does JPG need to shut the f*** up?

Yes
26
55%
No
8
17%
Shola
13
28%
 
Total votes: 47

Don Sholeone
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by Don Sholeone » Sun May 31, 2020 10:32 am

ToonCraig wrote:
Sat May 30, 2020 9:37 pm
i am new on here. Been having a look around the forum. This thread is the best. Been laughing my head off. My moment was, There was a farm not far from our house. They had a cattle grid. I started balancing on the bars and generally showing off. I fell. Heard a bit of a splash. Some of the dirty rain water that had built up in it. I could not get my leg out from in-between the bars. I sent my brother to go to a nearby house and tell them that i have got stuck. A man came and said, Straighten your leg, It will make it slimmer. Did that. Really was stuck. Had to ring the fire brigade. They came. Got me out. A woman from a nearby showhome came out to nosey, She was fit actually. She invited me in for a brew and i turned a mince pie down. It happened just before Christmas 94.
Never felt so embarrassed.
<disgrace> <frogout>

I was reading this all excited it was going to be another poo story, got to the end and remembered this is a poo requirement thread.

Also the whole showing off leading to embarrassing moments is the worst, especially when you get grilled about "what happened?" I dunno if I told this one before on here, but when I was little and well into wrestling I was out with cousins and i climbed onto a metal fence that was an L shape so had a corner which I climbed up trying to be all macho man randy savage, when I jumped off the drawstring of my tracksuit bottoms got caught o the fence I instantly did a 180 fall and was left dangling upside down from the fence with me arse out and pants round my ankles. Then someone immediately asking "what happened there?".... well Karen... as you can see from my current predicament i was showing off and have quite clearly, f***ed it up <erm>

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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by Colback's Orange Tufts » Sun May 31, 2020 1:47 pm

ToonCraig wrote:
Sat May 30, 2020 9:37 pm
i am new on here. Been having a look around the forum. This thread is the best. Been laughing my head off. My moment was, There was a farm not far from our house. They had a cattle grid. I started balancing on the bars and generally showing off. I fell. Heard a bit of a splash. Some of the dirty rain water that had built up in it. I could not get my leg out from in-between the bars. I sent my brother to go to a nearby house and tell them that i have got stuck. A man came and said, Straighten your leg, It will make it slimmer. Did that. Really was stuck. Had to ring the fire brigade. They came. Got me out. A woman from a nearby showhome came out to nosey, She was fit actually. She invited me in for a brew and i turned a mince pie down. It happened just before Christmas 94.
Never felt so embarrassed.
As a first five post om the forum that is top class
Sharing articles no-one reads since 2012

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Bodacious Benny
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by Bodacious Benny » Sun May 31, 2020 2:59 pm

I’ve always wondered if anyone has ever fallen down a cattle grid actually, you’ve answered the question <laugh>
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by Blue & Maroon » Sun May 31, 2020 3:33 pm

ToonCraig wrote:
Sat May 30, 2020 9:37 pm
i am new on here. Been having a look around the forum. This thread is the best. Been laughing my head off. My moment was, There was a farm not far from our house. They had a cattle grid. I started balancing on the bars and generally showing off. I fell. Heard a bit of a splash. Some of the dirty rain water that had built up in it. I could not get my leg out from in-between the bars. I sent my brother to go to a nearby house and tell them that i have got stuck. A man came and said, Straighten your leg, It will make it slimmer. Did that. Really was stuck. Had to ring the fire brigade. They came. Got me out. A woman from a nearby showhome came out to nosey, She was fit actually. She invited me in for a brew and i turned a mince pie down. It happened just before Christmas 94.
Never felt so embarrassed.
Welcome to the forum <laugh> <applause>

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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by PFT » Mon Aug 10, 2020 3:15 pm

Coming back and reading these.

Terrible bowels from everyone .
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by WillNewcastle » Sun Sep 13, 2020 8:45 pm

I have had so many over the years but a few that spring to mind.

I was at the entrance area of a sports hall waiting to get on to start football training, probably about 13 or 14years old. There was girls netball or something on before hand so we had to wait. For some reason I was hanging from this ledge, swinging in fact back and forth out of boredom above some stairs. My mate decided to 'keg me'. However this was a full kegging, he committed the cardinal sin and got the underpants as well. What made it ten times worse is that i was swinging still and it took me a little while to safely drop down, only a couple of extra seconds but felt like a lifetime. Everyone was laughing at my swinging back and forth with my tackle on full show. The girls were coming out of the sports hall so they saw as well. I was so angry I could have killed my so called mate!

Another one is when i got two black guys mixed up. It was at a job I was at for a few months and had been talking to this black guy on the friday for a while. It was a call centre and was hot desking so you could sit anyway. Anyway in my defence over the weekend i had forgotten what he looked like to some extent so on the monday i came in and saw what i thought was the same guy in the exact same seat. Got talking to him and something seemed different but couldnt put my finger on it he just seemed a lot quieter. 5 minutes late the original black guy appears and starts talking to him. I instantly realise my mistake and want to crawl into a small hole in the ground. To make matters worse he recognises me and introduces me to the other black guy who I could now tell had realised the mistake I made as he was sniggering away! Apart from the fact they were both black and had similar builds, facially they looked nothing alike either which makes it even more embarrassing and me seem like a racist.

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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by Bodacious Benny » Sun Sep 13, 2020 10:37 pm

<laugh>

Tbf people get two white people mixed up all the time. I always remember collymore (absolute tool) having a pop at a commentator a few years ago when Chelsea played arsenal. The commentator got Ox and Gibbs mixed up, and collymore made out it was racial and that “all these black lads look the same” (his words). Anyway, commentators regularly give white players
The wrong name, usually they’re sat high up in the stands so just annoys me when Collymore turned it into a race issue when it was clearly an honest mistake.
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by biggeordiedave » Fri Feb 03, 2023 4:22 pm

Anyone got anything good to add to this? <divax>

Edit: Just realised I started this thread over 10 years ago <erk>
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by Bodacious Benny » Mon Feb 06, 2023 3:08 pm

Some belters on here going back <laugh>
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by biggeordiedave » Mon Feb 06, 2023 5:49 pm

QWOP simultaneously pissing and shitting himself in school is still my favourite. Don't know how you'd ever recover from that socially.
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by originallad » Tue Feb 07, 2023 10:59 am

biggeordiedave wrote:
Mon Feb 06, 2023 5:49 pm
QWOP simultaneously pissing and s***ting himself in school is still my favourite. Don't know how you'd ever recover from that socially.
I did that once in my bathroom one Summer after drinking all day in the sun and getting sunstroke.

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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by biggeordiedave » Tue Feb 07, 2023 11:56 am

originallad wrote:
Tue Feb 07, 2023 10:59 am
biggeordiedave wrote:
Mon Feb 06, 2023 5:49 pm
QWOP simultaneously pissing and s***ting himself in school is still my favourite. Don't know how you'd ever recover from that socially.
I did that once in my bathroom one Summer after drinking all day in the sun and getting sunstroke.
<laugh> Summer day drinking is f***ing lethal. I remember being at Download festival one year sitting in the baking hot sun all day and I must have had about 12 pints of pear cider and 20 cigs. I was boiling, dehydrated and steaming and it's probably the worst I've ever felt in my life. Stumbled the couple of miles back to the tent, threw up a few times and then just had to sleep it off for about 18 hours <laugh>
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by originallad » Tue Feb 07, 2023 12:26 pm

biggeordiedave wrote:
Tue Feb 07, 2023 11:56 am
originallad wrote:
Tue Feb 07, 2023 10:59 am


I did that once in my bathroom one Summer after drinking all day in the sun and getting sunstroke.
<laugh> Summer day drinking is f***ing lethal. I remember being at Download festival one year sitting in the baking hot sun all day and I must have had about 12 pints of pear cider and 20 cigs. I was boiling, dehydrated and steaming and it's probably the worst I've ever felt in my life. Stumbled the couple of miles back to the tent, threw up a few times and then just had to sleep it off for about 18 hours <laugh>
Even the thought of going to a festival these days makes my palms all sweaty and stomach churn!

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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by biggeordiedave » Tue Feb 07, 2023 12:44 pm

originallad wrote:
Tue Feb 07, 2023 12:26 pm
biggeordiedave wrote:
Tue Feb 07, 2023 11:56 am


<laugh> Summer day drinking is f***ing lethal. I remember being at Download festival one year sitting in the baking hot sun all day and I must have had about 12 pints of pear cider and 20 cigs. I was boiling, dehydrated and steaming and it's probably the worst I've ever felt in my life. Stumbled the couple of miles back to the tent, threw up a few times and then just had to sleep it off for about 18 hours <laugh>
Even the thought of going to a festival these days makes my palms all sweaty and stomach churn!
Same, couldn't be arsed with all that s*** now.
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by Bodacious Benny » Tue Feb 07, 2023 2:42 pm

Festivals have never appealed to me, I like my home comforts like a toilet that's not overflowing with s*** festering in the heat <laugh>

Plus being soaked in other people's piss from people lobbing bottles of it doesn't do anything for me either <laugh>
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by biggeordiedave » Tue Feb 07, 2023 2:52 pm

Never got soaked in piss thankfully, although I've seen plenty of piss bottles being launched about. I've seen far too many overflowing s*** heaps though. Nothing worse than stumbling into one in the morning with a raging hangover and seeing/smelling a sun-ripened mixture of piss, s***, vomit and tampons.
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by overseasTOON » Tue Feb 07, 2023 4:37 pm

biggeordiedave wrote:
Tue Feb 07, 2023 2:52 pm
Never got soaked in piss thankfully, although I've seen plenty of piss bottles being launched about. I've seen far too many overflowing s*** heaps though. Nothing worse than stumbling into one in the morning with a raging hangover and seeing/smelling a sun-ripened mixture of piss, s***, vomit and tampons.
I've terrible luck with tents at festivals/events.

LeMans - drunkenly pissed into my own tent after passing out drunk outside it so set fire to it at the end.
Glastonbury - site flooded and all the portaloos fell over and my tent was right in the middle of it all floating around in a lake of s*** so just left it there.
Reading - borrowed a tent from a mate, pitched it, went off to get drunk and never saw it again as someone stole it.

Can't beat a nice hotel room

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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by biggeordiedave » Tue Feb 07, 2023 6:17 pm

overseasTOON wrote:
Tue Feb 07, 2023 4:37 pm
biggeordiedave wrote:
Tue Feb 07, 2023 2:52 pm
Never got soaked in piss thankfully, although I've seen plenty of piss bottles being launched about. I've seen far too many overflowing s*** heaps though. Nothing worse than stumbling into one in the morning with a raging hangover and seeing/smelling a sun-ripened mixture of piss, s***, vomit and tampons.
I've terrible luck with tents at festivals/events.

LeMans - drunkenly pissed into my own tent after passing out drunk outside it so set fire to it at the end.
Glastonbury - site flooded and all the portaloos fell over and my tent was right in the middle of it all floating around in a lake of s*** so just left it there.
Reading - borrowed a tent from a mate, pitched it, went off to get drunk and never saw it again as someone stole it.

Can't beat a nice hotel room
At least in a hotel you know the piss, s***, vomit and tampons are your own.
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Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by ALF » Thu Feb 16, 2023 11:53 am

Bodacious Benny wrote:
Tue Feb 07, 2023 2:42 pm
Festivals have never appealed to me, I like my home comforts like a toilet that's not overflowing with s*** festering in the heat <laugh>

Plus being soaked in other people's piss from people lobbing bottles of it doesn't do anything for me either <laugh>
At Glastonbury my body clock was waking me up at 6.30 each morning so I could go down for a s*** just as the long drop toilets were being cleaned.

Never had bottles of piss thrown in each of my visits either thankfully, method was usually just to piss in a paper cup and pour it onto the ground.

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