The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Does JPG need to shut the f*** up?

Yes
26
55%
No
8
17%
Shola
13
28%
 
Total votes: 47

User avatar
Micky Quim
PSA Chairman
PSA Chairman
Posts: 8876
Joined: Sun Feb 03, 2013 9:54 pm
Location: Monte Darlo

Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by Micky Quim » Fri Jul 22, 2016 5:02 pm

Just sharted whilst sharing a jacuzzi with my wife. Great way to end our holiday

User avatar
biggeordiedave
Living in his head rent free
Living in his head rent free
Posts: 23689
Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:06 pm
Location: Northumberland... so not actually a Geordie

Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by biggeordiedave » Fri Jul 22, 2016 5:34 pm

Micky Quim wrote:Just sharted whilst sharing a jacuzzi with my wife. Great way to end our holiday
Did the milk [water] turn chocolatey-brown?
Kindly deeds done for free!

User avatar
Micky Quim
PSA Chairman
PSA Chairman
Posts: 8876
Joined: Sun Feb 03, 2013 9:54 pm
Location: Monte Darlo

Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by Micky Quim » Fri Jul 22, 2016 5:38 pm

Nah. It was only a little bum squirt but is absolutely stunk. I'm blaming a spicy chicken wrap I had at lunch. She's only just started speaking to me again

User avatar
biggeordiedave
Living in his head rent free
Living in his head rent free
Posts: 23689
Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:06 pm
Location: Northumberland... so not actually a Geordie

Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by biggeordiedave » Fri Jul 22, 2016 6:02 pm

Micky Quim wrote:Nah. It was only a little bum squirt but is absolutely stunk. I'm blaming a spicy chicken wrap I had at lunch. She's only just started speaking to me again
Surely she's used to it by now.
Kindly deeds done for free!

User avatar
krully
Veteran Poster
Veteran Poster
Posts: 4964
Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2012 4:14 pm
Location: Ireland

Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by krully » Fri Jul 22, 2016 9:20 pm

what the f*** is with you lot and shitting yourselves??

User avatar
biggeordiedave
Living in his head rent free
Living in his head rent free
Posts: 23689
Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:06 pm
Location: Northumberland... so not actually a Geordie

Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by biggeordiedave » Fri Jul 22, 2016 10:38 pm

Just upset the wife with a fart myself <goat>
Kindly deeds done for free!

User avatar
ALF
Sleep is for Pussies
Sleep is for Pussies
Posts: 21126
Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2012 6:46 pm
Location: Down Sowf

Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by ALF » Fri Jul 22, 2016 11:35 pm

f*** sake Quim.

User avatar
Ramone
Interblew
Interblew
Posts: 18734
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2012 3:47 am
Location: The Homeland

Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by Ramone » Thu Aug 18, 2016 1:33 pm

Just had one of these.

I needed my standard post lunch s*** at work so I went to the disabled toilets because they're big and airy and I've been sweating buckets all day. I sat down and pulled my phone out to have a browse while letting gravity work it's magic. There was a knock at the door. It was the cleaner, she needed to get in because some f***ing genius decided to put the cleaning cupboard in the toilet. I sped things up as much as possible, unfortunately the consistency wasn't great and it was a bit of a smelly one. I tried to flush and all that happened was that my s*** mixed around a little bit. The toilet was f***ing clogged. I washed my hands and made a swift exit but when I left the cleaner looked me dead in the eyes as the waft of shitty air hit her, now she knows the disgusting things that come out of my arse.

I see her every f***ing day as well.
REQUIEM

User avatar
Bodacious Benny
Whiskey Club Member
Whiskey Club Member
Posts: 29037
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2012 11:18 am

Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by Bodacious Benny » Thu Aug 18, 2016 2:18 pm

<laugh>
I'm the scumbag outlaw. You're the pillar of justice. Neither of us like looking at ourselves in the mirror. Do we have a deal?

User avatar
overseasTOON
Much Ado About Blogging
Much Ado About Blogging
Posts: 20456
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2012 10:53 am
Location: Location: Location

Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by overseasTOON » Thu Aug 18, 2016 2:27 pm

Ramone wrote:Just had one of these.

I needed my standard post lunch s*** at work so I went to the disabled toilets because they're big and airy and I've been sweating buckets all day. I sat down and pulled my phone out to have a browse while letting gravity work it's magic. There was a knock at the door. It was the cleaner, she needed to get in because some f***ing genius decided to put the cleaning cupboard in the toilet. I sped things up as much as possible, unfortunately the consistency wasn't great and it was a bit of a smelly one. I tried to flush and all that happened was that my s*** mixed around a little bit. The toilet was f***ing clogged. I washed my hands and made a swift exit but when I left the cleaner looked me dead in the eyes as the waft of s***ty air hit her, now she knows the disgusting things that come out of my arse.

I see her every f***ing day as well.
Needs more bagpipe

Image

User avatar
jimileysbaldhead
Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Posts: 1235
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2012 8:35 pm
Location: Melton Mowbray

Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by jimileysbaldhead » Thu Aug 18, 2016 2:55 pm

" how's your new job as a lavatory attendant going?"

" don't talk to me about being a lavatory attendant, there's blokes coming in pissed and throwing up on the floor, blokes getting blow jobs, blokes having sex with other bloke's and even coming in and having sex with animals.
It's like s breath of fresh air when someone comes in for a sh!t "
My problem is reconciling my gross behaviour with my net income.

User avatar
biggeordiedave
Living in his head rent free
Living in his head rent free
Posts: 23689
Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:06 pm
Location: Northumberland... so not actually a Geordie

Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by biggeordiedave » Thu Aug 18, 2016 10:58 pm

Ramone wrote:Just had one of these.

I needed my standard post lunch s*** at work so I went to the disabled toilets because they're big and airy and I've been sweating buckets all day. I sat down and pulled my phone out to have a browse while letting gravity work it's magic. There was a knock at the door. It was the cleaner, she needed to get in because some f***ing genius decided to put the cleaning cupboard in the toilet. I sped things up as much as possible, unfortunately the consistency wasn't great and it was a bit of a smelly one. I tried to flush and all that happened was that my s*** mixed around a little bit. The toilet was f***ing clogged. I washed my hands and made a swift exit but when I left the cleaner looked me dead in the eyes as the waft of shitty air hit her, now she knows the disgusting things that come out of my arse.

I see her every f***ing day as well.
The company I work for kept old files and IT equipment in the toilets in our old building. So professional.
Kindly deeds done for free!

User avatar
Bartlet87
Darlow's Do
Posts: 20
Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2016 4:27 pm

Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by Bartlet87 » Fri Aug 19, 2016 1:57 pm

When I started a new job a few years ago, I was about two days in. Got up from my chair to go to lunch but my leg had gone dead, so I fell flat on my face in front of the entire open plan office of around 150 employees. Never lived it down!!

User avatar
overseasTOON
Much Ado About Blogging
Much Ado About Blogging
Posts: 20456
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2012 10:53 am
Location: Location: Location

Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by overseasTOON » Fri Aug 19, 2016 1:58 pm

Bartlet87 wrote:When I started a new job a few years ago, I was about two days in. Got up from my chair to go to lunch but my leg had gone dead, so I fell flat on my face in front of the entire open plan office of around 150 employees. Never lived it down!!
<laugh>

User avatar
Bartlet87
Darlow's Do
Posts: 20
Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2016 4:27 pm

Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by Bartlet87 » Fri Aug 19, 2016 2:01 pm

I always make a point of shaking my legs out before I get up now!!!

User avatar
biggeordiedave
Living in his head rent free
Living in his head rent free
Posts: 23689
Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:06 pm
Location: Northumberland... so not actually a Geordie

Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by biggeordiedave » Wed May 06, 2020 8:05 am

Bumping this for anyone who is bored and needs to read some ridiculous stories. A particular favourite of mine appears early on and features our esteemed founder dancing to 'Blue' by Eiffel 65 in front of his school. Rumour has it he still busts those moves out at parties.
Kindly deeds done for free!

User avatar
Bodacious Benny
Whiskey Club Member
Whiskey Club Member
Posts: 29037
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2012 11:18 am

Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by Bodacious Benny » Wed May 06, 2020 8:18 am

Forgot about this <laugh>
I'm the scumbag outlaw. You're the pillar of justice. Neither of us like looking at ourselves in the mirror. Do we have a deal?

User avatar
skalpel
Sleep is for Pussies
Sleep is for Pussies
Posts: 17139
Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2012 2:36 pm
Location: Somerset

Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by skalpel » Wed May 06, 2020 10:25 am

biggeordiedave wrote:
Wed May 06, 2020 8:05 am
Bumping this for anyone who is bored and needs to read some ridiculous stories. A particular favourite of mine appears early on and features our esteemed founder dancing to 'Blue' by Eiffel 65 in front of his school. Rumour has it he still busts those moves out at parties.
<laugh> <laugh> you bastard.

User avatar
biggeordiedave
Living in his head rent free
Living in his head rent free
Posts: 23689
Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:06 pm
Location: Northumberland... so not actually a Geordie

Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by biggeordiedave » Wed May 06, 2020 10:42 am

skalpel wrote:
Wed May 06, 2020 10:25 am
biggeordiedave wrote:
Wed May 06, 2020 8:05 am
Bumping this for anyone who is bored and needs to read some ridiculous stories. A particular favourite of mine appears early on and features our esteemed founder dancing to 'Blue' by Eiffel 65 in front of his school. Rumour has it he still busts those moves out at parties.
<laugh> <laugh> you bastard.
<gent>
Kindly deeds done for free!

User avatar
Micky Quim
PSA Chairman
PSA Chairman
Posts: 8876
Joined: Sun Feb 03, 2013 9:54 pm
Location: Monte Darlo

Re: The Most Embarrassing Moment of Your Life

Post by Micky Quim » Wed May 06, 2020 11:20 am

Just read the last few pages <laugh> <laugh> <laugh>

This forum used to be fun! <cry>

Post Reply