Holidays

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Cal
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Re: Holidays

Post by Cal » Tue Aug 31, 2021 10:21 am

Speedo wrote:
Tue Aug 31, 2021 8:54 am
biggeordiedave wrote:
Mon Oct 19, 2020 3:18 pm
My wedding was expensive in comparison to some of yours (about £6k) but about a quarter of the price of some weddings I've been to. I knew someone who spent £30k on their wedding and got divorced within a year. They're still paying for a wedding to someone they're not even married to anymore <doh>.
So this is on the cards for me in the not too distant future... Any tips for keeping the cost down?! My family is bloody massive - even if I only invite first cousins and closer there's still about 40 of them!
Congrats. We're having a second go of our wedding to see the family we couldn't first time around (after lockdown #1, 30 people), so have had a chance to think about what matters and put it into practice...

Are you decided on venue etc yet? That's probably the biggest spend that you can't reduce later on - if you're going with something vaguely fancy and catered, I don't think I saw anything under £100/head where we were looking. Also consider how accessible the location is, people will need to stay on-site or somewhere nearby. You can offer accomodation, but that adds up quickly, so think about who you would want to pay for an expensive hotel room for.

The rest comes down to what's important to you two, there are plenty of things that can be expensive, but maybe they're worth it if you particularly enjoy them. You can probably get away with a Spotify playlist rather than paying a grand for a band, unless that's something you want, of course.

You don't need to buy/hire your groomsmen suits - hire costs are often as expensive as a similar quality (ie cheap) new suit... I bought mine matching waistcoats and cheap ties, then anyone who didn't already have a navy suit I helped out separately.

You don't need to spend hundreds on flowers (or at least you can try to focus the spending on what the bride will carry, not decorations and expensive boutonnieres), centrepieces, favours, special coloured sashes for the chairs, etc. No one is especially paying attention to the little touches you'll end up stressing over, at the end of the day it's meant to be a celebration of you two and a party. People are probably there to eat, drink and be merry.

Try to avoid using the word "wedding" when getting quotes from vendors.

I'm a miser but also like to make things myself, rather than paying for something off the shelf. I can highly recommend signing up to one of those experiences where you craft your own rings. It ended up being cheaper than buying the equivalent from the high street, we had a nice day of it, and there's a story behind having turned some scrap into the ring that your wife/husband will hopefully wear for a long time to come.

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Speedo
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Re: Holidays

Post by Speedo » Tue Aug 31, 2021 10:34 am

Cal wrote:
Tue Aug 31, 2021 10:21 am
Speedo wrote:
Tue Aug 31, 2021 8:54 am


So this is on the cards for me in the not too distant future... Any tips for keeping the cost down?! My family is bloody massive - even if I only invite first cousins and closer there's still about 40 of them!
Congrats. We're having a second go of our wedding to see the family we couldn't first time around (after lockdown #1, 30 people), so have had a chance to think about what matters and put it into practice...

Are you decided on venue etc yet? That's probably the biggest spend that you can't reduce later on - if you're going with something vaguely fancy and catered, I don't think I saw anything under £100/head where we were looking. Also consider how accessible the location is, people will need to stay on-site or somewhere nearby. You can offer accomodation, but that adds up quickly, so think about who you would want to pay for an expensive hotel room for.

The rest comes down to what's important to you two, there are plenty of things that can be expensive, but maybe they're worth it if you particularly enjoy them. You can probably get away with a Spotify playlist rather than paying a grand for a band, unless that's something you want, of course.

You don't need to buy/hire your groomsmen suits - hire costs are often as expensive as a similar quality (ie cheap) new suit... I bought mine matching waistcoats and cheap ties, then anyone who didn't already have a navy suit I helped out separately.

You don't need to spend hundreds on flowers (or at least you can try to focus the spending on what the bride will carry, not decorations and expensive boutonnieres), centrepieces, favours, special coloured sashes for the chairs, etc. No one is especially paying attention to the little touches you'll end up stressing over, at the end of the day it's meant to be a celebration of you two and a party. People are probably there to eat, drink and be merry.

Try to avoid using the word "wedding" when getting quotes from vendors.

I'm a miser but also like to make things myself, rather than paying for something off the shelf. I can highly recommend signing up to one of those experiences where you craft your own rings. It ended up being cheaper than buying the equivalent from the high street, we had a nice day of it, and there's a story behind having turned some scrap into the ring that your wife/husband will hopefully wear for a long time to come.
This is amazingly helpful, thanks Cal (& BB in the post above). We're still not committed to anything (we're only going engagement ring browsing next week, and the question is not yet asked...) but since this is our near-future I wanted to jump on the conversation...

RE: accommodation etc, the challenge is my girlfriend's family is Dutch and her grandparents are mobility-limited, while my family is huge. So wherever we do it there's definitely going to be some of that cost! Also being London-based makes things immediately more expensive (we're considering Amsterdam, Newcastle/Northumberland as well, but being closer to home might be more convenient). I think we're going to definitely go for the smart cost cuts - like candles instead of flowers on the tables which sounds like it saves £100s.
No one is especially paying attention to the little touches you'll end up stressing over, at the end of the day it's meant to be a celebration of you two and a party.
Might print this out and stick it on my wall... a good reminder of what really matters!
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Re: Holidays

Post by gola » Sat Sep 04, 2021 7:55 pm

going padstow next wk cnt wait any recs for cornwall??

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Re: Holidays

Post by Bodacious Benny » Sat Sep 04, 2021 11:59 pm

gola wrote:
Sat Sep 04, 2021 7:55 pm
going padstow next wk cnt wait any recs for cornwall??
Not Cornwall, but presumably you’re driving down the M5? If so definitely stop at Gloucester Services, food is fantastic! It’s a farm shop type services so all local produce, no Starbucks, McDonald’s etc.

Rick Stein has a restaurant in Padstow, there’s a posh fish restaurant or across the road a fish a chip restaurant of his which is great <ok>
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Re: Holidays

Post by gola » Sun Sep 05, 2021 10:05 am

thanx man, will deffo try those oot. i dnt liv in newcastle anymore am in brighton now so wnt be goin past gloucester which is shame cos that sound lush

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Re: Holidays

Post by Bodacious Benny » Sun Sep 05, 2021 10:42 am

gola wrote:
Sun Sep 05, 2021 10:05 am
thanx man, will deffo try those oot. i dnt liv in newcastle anymore am in brighton now so wnt be goin past gloucester which is shame cos that sound lush
Haha oh right fair enough! Padstow and Falmouth are just really nice places to wander around too. And if you get decent weather then you’re sorted.
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Re: Holidays

Post by Blue & Maroon » Mon Sep 06, 2021 2:20 pm

Bodacious Benny wrote:
Sat Sep 04, 2021 11:59 pm
gola wrote:
Sat Sep 04, 2021 7:55 pm
going padstow next wk cnt wait any recs for cornwall??
Not Cornwall, but presumably you’re driving down the M5? If so definitely stop at Gloucester Services, food is fantastic! It’s a farm shop type services so all local produce, no Starbucks, McDonald’s etc.

Rick Stein has a restaurant in Padstow, there’s a posh fish restaurant or across the road a fish a chip restaurant of his which is great <ok>
Gloucester services <awe> <love> mother in law recommended it on the way back from Cornwall, did not disappoint.

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Re: Holidays

Post by overseasTOON » Mon Sep 06, 2021 2:37 pm

My wife is in Cornwall for a week with her Dad.

I'm not. I'm working from home and looking after miniOT while she sends me updates about how much bloody fun she is having.

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Re: Holidays

Post by Bodacious Benny » Mon Sep 06, 2021 2:45 pm

overseasTOON wrote:
Mon Sep 06, 2021 2:37 pm
My wife is in Cornwall for a week with her Dad.

I'm not. I'm working from home and looking after miniOT while she sends me updates about how much bloody fun she is having.
Glorious weather for a week in Cornwall 8)
Blue & Maroon wrote:
Mon Sep 06, 2021 2:20 pm
Bodacious Benny wrote:
Sat Sep 04, 2021 11:59 pm
Not Cornwall, but presumably you’re driving down the M5? If so definitely stop at Gloucester Services, food is fantastic! It’s a farm shop type services so all local produce, no Starbucks, McDonald’s etc.

Rick Stein has a restaurant in Padstow, there’s a posh fish restaurant or across the road a fish a chip restaurant of his which is great <ok>
Gloucester services <awe> <love> mother in law recommended it on the way back from Cornwall, did not disappoint.
If I lived closer I'd be a regular visitor there <laugh> Fantastic Full-English <awe>
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gola
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Re: Holidays

Post by gola » Mon Sep 06, 2021 5:11 pm

where you recommend ot?? I am vegan t love chips can't wait 4 stein

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Re: Holidays

Post by Blue & Maroon » Mon Sep 06, 2021 8:48 pm

overseasTOON wrote:
Mon Sep 06, 2021 2:37 pm
My wife is in Cornwall for a week with her Dad.

I'm not. I'm working from home and looking after miniOT while she sends me updates about how much bloody fun she is having.
Bloody love Cornwall, a severely beautiful part of the country. If only it wasn't 6-7 hours drive away. <urgh>

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Re: Holidays

Post by Donkey Toon » Mon Sep 06, 2021 8:57 pm

Yeah Cornwall is great. Spent a week at a Farmhouse B&B just outside Lostwithiel 20 odd years ago and loved it. Seem to remember Mousehole being especially nice.

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Re: Holidays

Post by gola » Tue Sep 07, 2021 5:49 am

Blue & Maroon wrote:
Mon Sep 06, 2021 8:48 pm
overseasTOON wrote:
Mon Sep 06, 2021 2:37 pm
My wife is in Cornwall for a week with her Dad.

I'm not. I'm working from home and looking after miniOT while she sends me updates about how much bloody fun she is having.
Bloody love Cornwall, a severely beautiful part of the country. If only it wasn't 6-7 hours drive away. <urgh>
yeh i kno i cnt w8 for it iv been wkin nonstop 4 so long iv nvr get to see my bf so weve gt loadsa time together and i cnt wait for it. even in brightoin is like 4-5 hrs away n that wivout traffic lol

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Re: Holidays

Post by gola » Tue Sep 07, 2021 5:50 am

Donkey Toon wrote:
Mon Sep 06, 2021 8:57 pm
Yeah Cornwall is great. Spent a week at a Farmhouse B&B just outside Lostwithiel 20 odd years ago and loved it. Seem to remember Mousehole being especially nice.
will go ther i lovr port isaac so if its anyhin like that il be well happy

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Re: Holidays

Post by biggeordiedave » Tue Sep 07, 2021 3:04 pm

Speedo wrote:
Tue Aug 31, 2021 8:54 am
biggeordiedave wrote:
Mon Oct 19, 2020 3:18 pm
My wedding was expensive in comparison to some of yours (about £6k) but about a quarter of the price of some weddings I've been to. I knew someone who spent £30k on their wedding and got divorced within a year. They're still paying for a wedding to someone they're not even married to anymore <doh>.
So this is on the cards for me in the not too distant future... Any tips for keeping the cost down?! My family is bloody massive - even if I only invite first cousins and closer there's still about 40 of them!
We did a lot of it ourselves with help from family and friends. Invitations, decorations and cake were all homemade, we got a friend to DJ with some rented equipment for a very reasonable fee and we just didn't go overboard on catering. Even still, we managed to feed everyone and a lot of people commented that they didn't have to spend any money because of the wine and beer we'd put on. My brother-in-law did the photography as our wedding present which was another huge saving. Put the emphasis on the things you want and not what you think people will enjoy.

I think we had 40-50 people in total. Cousins on my dad's side weren't invited because there's just too many of them, and they all have kids and then some of their kids have kids too. My wife has a huge family too and we were just ruthless with it. You'll find that some people are d***s about it, but most understand.

Best of luck! <cheers>
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gola
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Re: Holidays

Post by gola » Thu Sep 09, 2021 10:54 am

yeh best luck m8, itl be great!!

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Speedo
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Re: Holidays

Post by Speedo » Fri Sep 10, 2021 12:35 pm

Thanks folks! Long way to go still but I think I've found the engagement ring 👀
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Re: Holidays

Post by Bodacious Benny » Fri Sep 10, 2021 1:09 pm

Talking of weddings, I’ve still got my wedding ring somewhere from when I got divorced 2 years ago…will so you a decent price on it <laugh>

Been meaning to find that and just send it to cash for gold or something.
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Re: Holidays

Post by PTAO? » Sat Sep 11, 2021 4:21 pm

My wife and I are planning a UK wedding celebration as most of our family couldn't make it to the first one. Got a sample menu from a catering company I really liked the look of, was told it was a reasonable £52/head, so planned accordingly. Finally got the full quote from them and they revealed that that price only included the cost of the food, and wacked on an extra SEVEN GRAND for set up, staff, tableware etc.
Guess we're looking elsewhere now.

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