The funny corner
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Re: The funny corner
Two guys went to a petrol station that was holding a contest: a chance to win free sex when you filled your tank. They pumped their petrol and went to pay the male attendant.
"I'm thinking of a number between one and ten," he said. "If you guess right, you win free sex."
"Okay," agreed one of the guys, "I guess seven."
"Sorry, I was thinking of eight," replied the attendant.
The next week they tried again. When they went to pay, the attendant told them to pick a number.
"Two!" said the second guy.
"Sorry, it's three, said the attendant. "Come back and try again."
As they walked out to their car, one guy said to the other, "I think this contest is rigged."
"No way," said his buddy. "My wife won twice last week."
"I'm thinking of a number between one and ten," he said. "If you guess right, you win free sex."
"Okay," agreed one of the guys, "I guess seven."
"Sorry, I was thinking of eight," replied the attendant.
The next week they tried again. When they went to pay, the attendant told them to pick a number.
"Two!" said the second guy.
"Sorry, it's three, said the attendant. "Come back and try again."
As they walked out to their car, one guy said to the other, "I think this contest is rigged."
"No way," said his buddy. "My wife won twice last week."
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Re: The funny corner
I'd love to do that to someone I don't like!
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Re: The funny corner
The English football team visited a Muslim orphanage today.
"It's so heartbreaking to see their sad faces, devoid of hope," said Ahmed, aged 7.
"It's so heartbreaking to see their sad faces, devoid of hope," said Ahmed, aged 7.
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Re: The funny corner
I said to the baker..
"How come all your cakes are 50p and that one's £1"
He said..." that's Madeira cake"
"How come all your cakes are 50p and that one's £1"
He said..." that's Madeira cake"
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Re: The funny corner
Police have confirmed a man has been arrested in Burnley after falling into a combine harvester whilst trying to steal it.
He is due to be bailed tomorrow...
He is due to be bailed tomorrow...
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Re: The funny corner
Northerner terrifies Londoners by saying "Hello"
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Re: The funny corner
What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
SpoilerShow
I wouldn't pay £200 to have a lentil on my face.
It’s the noise, the passion, the feeling of belonging, the pride in your city.
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Re: The funny corner
I'm the scumbag outlaw. You're the pillar of justice. Neither of us like looking at ourselves in the mirror. Do we have a deal?
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Re: The funny corner
If you're on the motorway and the person driving in front of you turns on the wipers when it's not raining, it can only mean one thing.
She will be changing lanes...
She will be changing lanes...
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Re: The funny corner
Not quite deserving of a but I'll give you adaib0 wrote:If you're on the motorway and the person driving in front of you turns on the wipers when it's not raining, it can only mean one thing.
She will be changing lanes...
On a related note that's what happens whenever I go on holiday and hire a car too, why don't they just put the indicator stick on the left hand side of the steering wheel in every car
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Re: The funny corner
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Re: The funny corner
I can't believe that the Manchester city football striker, Sergio Aguero has hit the post again. https://t.co/67Vqoo0aiM
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Re: The funny corner
I’ve developed a taste for fabric conditioner.
My doctor says I’m fine, I’ve just been comfort eating.
My doctor says I’m fine, I’ve just been comfort eating.
I'll Hazard a guess
Re: The funny corner
nice one!daib0 wrote:The English football team visited a Muslim orphanage today.
"It's so heartbreaking to see their sad faces, devoid of hope," said Ahmed, aged 7.
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Re: The funny corner
Simon Mignolet wanted to dress up as a ghost for Liverpool's Halloween party. Unfortunately, he hasn't got enough clean sheets....
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Re: The funny corner
Men Jokes - Making a change from blonde jokes!
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower..'Honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world...'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you.......
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower..'Honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says,'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world...'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you.......
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Re: The funny corner
I was in an American Library the other day going through a few magazines...
Then my f***ing rifle jammed.
Then my f***ing rifle jammed.
It’s the noise, the passion, the feeling of belonging, the pride in your city.
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Re: The funny corner
I was telling my lovely lady doctor earlier how my tennis elbow was really hurting.
She said "how many years have you had it for?"
I said "15, love"
She said "how many years have you had it for?"
I said "15, love"
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Re: The funny corner
Everton chairman Bill Kenwright to take over Brexit negotiations after showing it’s possible to spend £135m and exit Europe within three months.
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Re: The funny corner
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