The funny corner

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Micky Quim
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Re: The funny corner

Post by Micky Quim » Tue Jan 15, 2019 9:58 pm

I've been stockpiling alcohol for years in preparation for the end of the world. It's safe to say that when the end comes, Armageddon drunk

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Re: The funny corner

Post by Bodacious Benny » Tue Jan 15, 2019 10:34 pm

<laugh>

A rare funny joke on this thread <roll>
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Re: The funny corner

Post by Micky Quim » Wed Jan 16, 2019 7:50 am

Jokes about white sugar are rare. Jokes about brown sugar, Demerara

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Re: The funny corner

Post by daib0 » Thu Jan 17, 2019 11:06 pm

A Chinese Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens his own Clinic and puts a sign outside ;-

'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.'

An American Lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the Clinic.

Lawyer: 'I have lost my sense of Taste.'

Chinese: 'Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth.'

Lawyer: 'Ugh. this is Kerosene.'

Chinese: 'Congrats, your sense of Taste is restored. Give me $20 dolla.'

The annoyed Lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money.

Lawyer: 'I have lost my Memory. I cannot remember anything.'

Chinese: 'Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth.'

Lawyer (annoyed): 'This is Kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my Taste.'

Chinese: 'Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20 dolla.'

The fuming Lawyer pays him and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.

Lawyer: 'My Eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all.'

Chinese: 'Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100 dolla.'

Lawyer (staring at the note): 'But this is $20, not $100"...

Chinese: 'Congrats muddaf*cka, your Eyesight is restored. Give me another $20 dolla'
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Re: The funny corner

Post by Micky Quim » Thu Jan 17, 2019 11:22 pm

I've been told that my grammar is very poor but I don't believe them. Only last week she gave me £20

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Re: The funny corner

Post by Micky Quim » Thu Jan 17, 2019 11:22 pm

I truly got to know my inner self today, thats Tesco value toilet paper for you

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Re: The funny corner

Post by daib0 » Thu Jan 17, 2019 11:27 pm

Micky Quim wrote:
Thu Jan 17, 2019 11:22 pm
I've been told that my grammar is very poor but I don't believe them. Only last week she gave me £20
<applause>
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Re: The funny corner

Post by daib0 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 2:38 pm

Funny ... but true!!


Pete O'Rourke @SportsPeteO

Fulham manager Claudio Ranieri has revealed defender Alfie Mawson injured himself while putting on his boots. #FFC
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Re: The funny corner

Post by Micky Quim » Sat Jan 19, 2019 5:06 pm

I truly got to know my inner self today, thats Tesco value toilet paper for you

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Re: The funny corner

Post by Micky Quim » Sat Jan 19, 2019 5:07 pm

When I walk into Slimming World, everyone looks round

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Re: The funny corner

Post by ALF » Sun Jan 20, 2019 8:27 pm

I truly got to know my inner self today, thats Tesco value toilet paper for you

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Re: The funny corner

Post by Micky Quim » Sun Jan 20, 2019 9:43 pm

ALF wrote:
Sun Jan 20, 2019 8:27 pm
I truly got to know my inner self today, thats Tesco value toilet paper for you
<scratch>

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Re: The funny corner

Post by Bodacious Benny » Sun Jan 20, 2019 9:51 pm

ALF wrote:
Sun Jan 20, 2019 8:27 pm
I truly got to know my inner self today, thats Tesco value toilet paper for you
We’ve all been there.
I'm the scumbag outlaw. You're the pillar of justice. Neither of us like looking at ourselves in the mirror. Do we have a deal?

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Re: The funny corner

Post by PTAO? » Mon Jan 21, 2019 2:45 am

I truly got to know my inner self today, thats Tesco value toilet paper for you

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Re: The funny corner

Post by daib0 » Tue Jan 22, 2019 6:13 pm

I'm organising a party for people who can't reach an orgasm, so if you can't come let me know ...
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Re: The funny corner

Post by Somebodys pinched my sombrero » Tue Jan 22, 2019 7:25 pm

I truly got to know my inner self today, thats Tesco value toilet paper for you.
Supporting the Toon since 1972.

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Re: The funny corner

Post by lassassinblanc » Wed Jan 23, 2019 2:14 pm

I did blindfold archery today, I'd highly recommend it you really don't know what you're missing.
<ayo>

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Re: The funny corner

Post by daib0 » Thu Jan 24, 2019 11:48 pm

Today in Barclays , an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over...
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Re: The funny corner

Post by lassassinblanc » Fri Jan 25, 2019 6:20 pm

My friend gets really angry if I steal her kitchen utensils.

But that's a whisk I'm willing to take.
<ayo>

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Re: The funny corner

Post by Micky Quim » Thu Jan 31, 2019 8:13 pm

My Hindu girlfriend went down on me. I almost came on the spot.....

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