The funny corner
- Micky Quim
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Re: The funny corner
No one thought it was a good idea to cast Mel Gibson as a Scottish hero, but look at him now - a hopeless alcoholic racist
- Micky Quim
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Re: The funny corner
I was haunted by two gay ghosts. They put the willies up me
- Micky Quim
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Re: The funny corner
The coolest guy in the hospital was the Ultra Sound guy... until the Hip Replacement guy took over....
Re: The funny corner
Micky Quim wrote: ↑Thu Jan 31, 2019 8:15 pmThe coolest guy in the hospital was the Ultra Sound guy... until the Hip Replacement guy took over....
- overseasTOON
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Re: The funny corner
Some of us have hope!Micky Quim wrote: ↑Thu Jan 31, 2019 8:14 pmNo one thought it was a good idea to cast Mel Gibson as a Scottish hero, but look at him now - a hopeless alcoholic racist
- jimileysbaldhead
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Re: The funny corner
Just rang the drug addiction centre and the recorded message said " if you have a problem with cannabis press hash "
If your issue is with cocaine, stay on the line "
If your issue is with cocaine, stay on the line "
My problem is reconciling my gross behaviour with my net income.
Re: The funny corner
Hello, and Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - no one will answer you.
If you are dyslexic, press 69696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until the beep after the beep please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, please try your call again later.
If you have low self esteem, hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - no one will answer you.
If you are dyslexic, press 69696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until the beep after the beep please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, please try your call again later.
If you have low self esteem, hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
- Micky Quim
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Re: The funny corner
My wife was hit by a golf ball. I rushed her to the hospital where the doctor asked me "Where did it strike her?"
"Between the first and second holes" I said.
"Crikey!" he said "that doesn't leave much room to operate."
"Between the first and second holes" I said.
"Crikey!" he said "that doesn't leave much room to operate."
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Re: The funny corner
Micky Quim wrote: ↑Fri Feb 01, 2019 9:33 pmMy wife was hit by a golf ball. I rushed her to the hospital where the doctor asked me "Where did it strike her?"
"Between the first and second holes" I said.
"Crikey!" he said "that doesn't leave much room to operate."
A friendly Reading FC fan! He is a moderator here: http://www.extremefootballforum.com/forum
- Micky Quim
- PSA Chairman
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Re: The funny corner
I once dated a dentist.
She had the best teeth I’d ever come across
She had the best teeth I’d ever come across
- Micky Quim
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Re: The funny corner
I just bought 35 cans of women's deodorant.
I can't help it, i'm an impulse buyer!
I can't help it, i'm an impulse buyer!
- Micky Quim
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Re: The funny corner
I entered a blindfolded masturbation competition once...f*** knows where I came
- jimileysbaldhead
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Re: The funny corner
Had a dream last night I was getting a blow job off the blonde one in Abba, woke up with a start when his beard started to tickle me bollocks.
My problem is reconciling my gross behaviour with my net income.
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Re: The funny corner
During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyParis"
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital...
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital...
A friendly Reading FC fan! He is a moderator here: http://www.extremefootballforum.com/forum
- Micky Quim
- PSA Chairman
- Posts: 9192
- Joined: Sun Feb 03, 2013 9:54 pm
- Location: Monte Darlo
Re: The funny corner
It is an interesting fact that pigeons die almost immediately after sex.
Well the one I f***ed did.
Well the one I f***ed did.
- Micky Quim
- PSA Chairman
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- Joined: Sun Feb 03, 2013 9:54 pm
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Re: The funny corner
My next door neighbour just accused me of stealing clothes from her washing line. I nearly s*** her pants.
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Re: The funny corner
David Hasselhoff walked into a bar and ordered a drink.
"It’s a pleasure to serve you Mr Hasselhoff,” said the bartender.
“Just call me Hoff,” he replied.
“Sure,” said the bartender. “No hassle.”
"It’s a pleasure to serve you Mr Hasselhoff,” said the bartender.
“Just call me Hoff,” he replied.
“Sure,” said the bartender. “No hassle.”
A friendly Reading FC fan! He is a moderator here: http://www.extremefootballforum.com/forum
- jimileysbaldhead
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Re: The funny corner
I met Elkie Brooks at Crufts and asked her if I could guess the name of her dog. "Yes", she said, "but you're a fool if you think it's Rover".
My problem is reconciling my gross behaviour with my net income.
- jimileysbaldhead
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Re: The funny corner
Missing: black and white cat, very very intelligent.
Tiddles, if you're reading this please come home.
Tiddles, if you're reading this please come home.
My problem is reconciling my gross behaviour with my net income.
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Re: The funny corner
jimileysbaldhead wrote: ↑Fri Mar 15, 2019 8:58 amMissing: black and white cat, very very intelligent.
Tiddles, if you're reading this please come home.
A friendly Reading FC fan! He is a moderator here: http://www.extremefootballforum.com/forum